All posts by cannongerbil

Untitled Megumin Short Story

Untitled Megumin short story

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014, this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut (or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes place around volume 4, so the status quo and character relationships are a little different from the later volumes.

Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]

On a certain afternoon.

“I really want to see a real mage at least once.”

After enjoying a light meal at the guild, I muttered that over a cup of tea.

As I did so, Megumin, seated opposite me, dropped her spoon along with her jaw.

“… W-What did you just say?”

“Hmm? No, I just thought I wanted to see a real mage at least once. There are a lot of people in this town who happen to be spellcasters, but they don’t quite match the image of a mage that I have.”

ーAt those words, the atmosphere in the guild changed.

“… Kazuma, are you picking a fight with the mage right in front of you? As a Crimson Demon, famed for producing many exceptional mages, I can’t let that slide… Why don’t you describe the image of a mage that you have in your mind? If there is even one person in town who fits that image, I’m going to have you apologize.”

“No, I’m not trying to pick a fight or anything. It’s just that my idea of a mage is…”

Megumin slammed on the table in protest, and some of the other adventurers in the guild nodded in agreement.

“… It’d be someone who has a high amount of pride in the value of magic and refuses to use it for trivial matters… Like using Tinder to warm up the snacks he was served while drinking, or casting Blizzard in the stables on warm nights only to get scolded in the morning for drenching the place…”

The man a few tables over casually roasting his squid over a plate, along with several other adventurers, suddenly stiffened up.

“And there’s the guy who scalded himself after throwing a fireball into the public baths after complaining that the water is too cold, and the guy who uses his instant kill spell that he’s so proud of for construction work…”

“Please stop! I’ll admit that we aren’t that great, so please don’t say anything more!”

With Megumin’s concession, and seeing some people in the guild were shifting uncomfortably in their seats, I agreed to stop elaborating there and went back to the original topic.

“Well, we’ve gotten a little off track, but I really want to see a proper mage. I mean, the mages in this town are, you know, depending on their mood, they’d blast away with offensive spells and pick a fight with muscle-bound vanguards. Mages are supposed to be more mild-mannered, calm… And wise, you know?”

“I-I’m plenty mild-mannered… Sorry, sorry! I’m sorry for blasting away with Explosion without thinking! Please stop looking at me like that!”

“… Anyway, I want to see a real mage. For instance… Does anyone here have a grimoire or something? Like someone whose actual day job is deciphering magical texts?”

At my words, the various mages who were listening closely to me suddenly averted their gaze.

“Is there not a single one!? Like researching lost magics or refining magic circle constructions or doing experiments with alchemy!? Mages are supposed to be the same as scholars, aren’t they!?… Hey, you’re burning the squid!


ーIn a dimly lit room, a hooded figure chanted in a low and heavy voice like she was reciting a forbidden spell.

“Oh, great power of the earth, waters that trace from the source of life… Red… Red… The fresh, red fruit of the devil…! Mix together with the flesh of the devil, and be transformed by the heat of my fires to what you should be!”

The robed figure raised both hands as the pot in front of her started giving out a wonderful scent.

“Thee who has been transformed into thy most appetizing form! Become my blood, my flesh, and the source of my power!”

ーMegumin said with a smile, removing her hood and ladling a scoop of frog meat stew onto a plate.

“… Say, this is just stew, right? Do you really need to do such a dubious ceremony to create it?”

“Of course. That is the power of words. By doing so, the bruised ingredients that we were able to get cheaply will be transformed into high quality food.”

“… Oh, so magic can do that too. When you said you were going to show me your wizardly side and started cooking, I had half a mind to go home… So this really was a magic ritual.”

“No, it’s just a lie. This is just a normal stew, I just said those lines during cooking for the atmosphere… Ow-ow-ow, I’m sorry, please stop!”

As I pulled on Megumin’s cheeks, I heard the footsteps of several people rushing about in the room outside.

Megumin said that she’ll show me a proper magic ritual and led me to the kitchen after borrowing it from the guild, but…

“Hey, hurry up and prepare while the Crimson Demon girl buys us time! We’re going to show that guy real magic…!”

“How do you draw a magic circle again!? Does anyone know the magic circle for summoning familiars!?”

“Crystal balls are pretty mage-like, right? Where do they sell them again?”

As the mages made a fuss out in the guild, I took a sip from Megumin’s stew.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect my careless remark to result in such an incident… This is pretty good.”

“Well, spellcasters in general tend to be a prideful bunch, so be careful in the future… Would you like seconds?”

As Megumin got me another ladle full of stew, the doors to the kitchen flew open.

“We’re done with the preparations! Now, let’s show you what a true mage is like!”


ーReally, how did it come to this?

“Heheh, now, listen to me. When you talk about mages, what comes to mind is, of courseー!”

“If you say magical girl at your age, I’m gonna smack you.”

“Gurk!?… Sniffle…”

One of the ladies, dressed in a frilly, gothic lolita-looking outfit, backed away in tears.

“… Really? I thought a mage would definitely be some old geezer, so I went out and bought a mustache…”

“I-I’ve been catching pigeons at the park so that I could make them appear from my handkerchief…!”

That isn’t magic, it’s just a trick.

ーJust as the spellcasters started raising a fuss.

“Say, what exactly is this ‘real mage’ you’re talking about? Can you tell us what kind of magic you have in mind?”

A lady dressed in a bunny girl outfit standing next to the guy with pigeons asked.

…Did I accidentally ask the spellcasters in this down to do something impossible?

Like creating a house out of gingerbread?

No, no that’s just from a fairy tale. If I raise the bar even higher than it is now, I might end up making all the candy store owners and children in this town cry.

Mage, mage…

The other thing that mages can do is…

“… Oh, yeah, fly! They can ride on a staff and fly through… Judging from your faces, that seems impossible.”

I trailed off after seeing the sullen faces looking back at me.

“… Fly. Okay. Fly. If we can fly, you’ll acknowledge us as true mages, right!?”

However, the bunny girl lady said that with determination.

The lady’s expression is firm, and I can tell there’s a strong will behind it

Just as I started feeling a little remorseful for hurting their pride like this.


As I heard that voice, I….

… Huh …


ーWhen I woke up, I was wrapped inside a thick futon and tied to a broomstick.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but a clearly nervous and fidgeting Megumin was standing in front of me, her staff at the ready.

“Ka-Kazuma… Everyone’s agreed that theoretically, it should be just within safe limits. I think it checks out, too. There’ll be people waiting for you at the landing point, ready to catch you with wind magic, so…!”

As the other mages nervously watched on, Megumin gulped and started the chant for her Explosion…

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! You are all exceptional mages! Actually, why are you making me fly!?”

Short stories directory


Konosuba Character Q&A


As part of the lead up to volume 17, Akatsuki Natsume has hosted a character Q&A session on his twitter account, where each day a different character will be answering questions from the public. I’ve translated the responses and collated them here for posterity.

(Yes, I know Eris also has a Q&A currently ongoing. I’ll add it to the list once her Q&A is done)

Untitled Aqua Short Story

Untitled Aqua Short Story

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014, this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut (or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes place around volume 4, so the status quo and character relationships are a little different from the later volumes.

Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]

“Vampire? You’re talking about a vampire? That high ranking undead monster?”

“Yeah, I heard he was living in a dungeon until a party of skilled adventurers decided to pay him a visit. Apparently, he decided to turn tail and flee to Axel. He must have used quite a bit of his power fighting with those adventurers, so it wouldn’t be surprising if he tried to regain his strength by sucking blood here. You have a skilled priest in your party, right? If someone manages to find that Vampire, they might give your party a call.”

And that’s what the adventurer told me.

It’s dusk right now.

We didn’t have anything to do today, so everyone is off all over town enjoying their day offー

“Ah, I see. Thanks for the info. The sun is about to set soon, so I’ll be careful out on the streets.”

“Well, there’s no need to worry too much about it. Vampires suck blood in order to absorb the target’s mana. There aren’t that many people with high mana in this town to begin with. At the very least, I doubt he’ll go after people like you or me.”

After saying that, the adventurer bid me goodbye and went back to join the rest of his companions at his table.

I came to this tavern to have dinner, and everyone is talking about this incident.

“Hey, two garlic-mashed frog meat sets over here, please~!”

“Stir-fry vegetables with lots of garlic, please!”

Most of the food being ordered tonight are ones with garlic in it.

It’s probably to ward off attacks from the Vampire.

Still, they’ll only target people with high mana, huh?

To put it another way, my party is one of the most likely targets for the Vampire.

Aqua and Megumin both have high mana, after all.

Aqua can handle herself against any undead creature, so she’ll probably be fine.

But Megumin… I think it would be best if I tracked her down and told her to be on her guard.

ーJust as that thought entered my mind, the door to the tavern opened.

Along with it came a boisterous voice that could be heard clearly over the hustle and bustle in the tavern.

“Zombies are nothing compared to me! You are really lucky that I happened to pass by just then! If you want to thank me, just buying me dinner tonight will be enough!”

“Y-Yes! T-Thank you very much…”

The person who entered the tavern was Aqua, accompanied by an unfamiliar woman with a pale complexion.

She had a parasol in one hand and covered her body with a black cloak, and she wore quite a bit of make-up on her face.

The best phrase to describe her would be “femme fatale.”

Aqua noticed me and walked over with the unfamiliar woman in tow.

“Kazuma, are you here for dinner too? Great timing, let’s eat together. Oh, let me introduce you. This is Carmilla-san. I found her outside town mobbed by a group of zombies and saved her from being dragged away.”

“P-P-P-P-Pleased to meet you! My name is Carmilla! I-I-I can’t thank Aqua-san enough for helping me…!”

Carmilla stammered repeatedly, and what little color was left on her face faded away.



“… Hey, Aqua, apparently, a vampire might have escaped to this town, so it’s best not to wander around too much at night.”

At my words, Carmilla trembled in shock.

“I-I-I-Is that so!? H-H-How scary! A-A vampire, huh?”

And spat those words out in a painfully false monotone.

“It’s fine. It’s just a vampire. You saw how I turned that entire horde of zombies to dust with a single Turn Undead, right? If a vampire shows up in front of me, I’ll just turn him into my experience points!”


In response to Aqua’s confident declaration, Carmilla let out a small squeal of fright.


ーNo matter how you look at it.

“Still, you must really be unlucky to be attacked by so many zombies while the sun is still up. Could a vampire’s presence really cause such a drastic change in their behaviour? Oh, right, garlic dishes are really popular in town right now. All the adventurers are eating them. A young girl like you is the perfect target for a vampire, so you should have some too, just in case.”

“Eh!? N-No, it’s fine! I’m concerned about my breath, so…”

“Now is not the time to be worrying about bad breath. Kazuma is right, you should have some garlic to ward off vampires! Or what, is there some other reason why you can’t eat garlic…?”

“No, of course not! I’ll have some! I’ll gladly have some garlic!”

As Aqua started staring her down, Carmilla hastily agreed.

Judging from her reaction and when she showed up, she’s definitely the Vampire that everyone’s talking about.


ーCarmilla, tearfully, and with an expression that seemed like she was struggling not to puke, brought a spoonful of the garlic-sprinkled dish we ordered to her mouth.

The adventurers around me were giving her curious glances.

It seems like I’m not the only one who thinks that Carmilla looks like a vampire.

The only reason no one said it out loud is because no one particularly liked the idea of fighting a powerful undead inside a tavern.

And of course, there’s Aqua, who, completely oblivious to any of this, and heaped a large spoonful of mashed garlic from her salad onto Carmilla’s plate.


Carmilla shot up in panic at the sudden increase in garlic.

“You seem to like garlic to the point of tears, so I’ll give you some of mine. Don’t hold back, just dig in.”

Aqua gave her a wide smile.

“T-Thanff youff… vefy muff…!”

As Carmilla sobbed, Aqua leaned in close and whispered to her lowly.

“I’ll give you something to ward away the undead. You seem to be really attractive to zombies, so this should be useful to you. Here, hold out your hand.”

“Hmm? What is thaaaaaーー!

The moment Aqua dropped something into Carmilla’s hand, it began smoking, causing Carmilla to roll around on the floor in pain.

“That’s the holy charm of the Axis Cult that I poured a lot of my holy mana into. It’ll be very effective against the undead, so keep it on you… Hey, what’s wrong? Why is smoking coming out of your hand?”

“Aaaaarrggh, t-this is, I-I-I’m allergic to this kind of metal! Thank you very much! I’ll treasure it!”

Carmilla carefully picked up the holy charm pressed into her hand with a pair of chopsticks, warily wrapped it in a handkerchief, and stuffed it in her pocket.

Aqua took Carmilla’s smoking hand and gently placed her other palm over it.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were allergic to metal. Don’t worry, I’m an Archpriest! I’ll heal you right now! Heal!”

“Aaaaaaaa… Tttttthank you, veeeeeeery muuuuuch!”

Carmilla quickly pulled her hand out of Aqua’s grasp the moment she started casting a spell.

“Hmm? It felt like your hand just disappeared when I casted my healing spell on it…”

“T-That’s just your imagination! Thank you very much, I feel much better now! I’ve already paid for your meal, so I don’t want to overstay my welcome…”

Carmilla quickly spat out those words before standing up and making for the door.

“Yeah, I’m getting bored of teasing you like this. I suppose it’s time to properly purify you.”


“Y-You knew who Carmilla was all along!? So all that stuff was you putting on an act?”

“Of course! Just who do you think I am? I could tell she was an undead the moment I laid eyes on her.”

This woman is atrocious!

“P-P-Please spare me! I-I haven’t hurt anyone yet, so please let me go!”

“No way! Undead are my enemies! So make peace with… Ah, wait, Kazuma? What are you doing!? Don’t get in my way!”

I grabbed Aqua from behind and shouted at the teary eyed and trembling Carmilla.

“Run! I’ll let you off on account of you not having hurt anyone yet, so hurry up and run!”

“T-Thank you very much! I owe you for this!”

“Aaaah! Traitor! Kazuma you traitor!”

Carmilla hastily left the tavern, and Aqua managed to slip from my grip after a short period of thrashing around and went after her.

“Hold it right there! You’ll become my experience points!”

“P-Please let me go!”

With Aqua hot on her heels, Carmilla vanished into the night.

This is a world where even vampires have a hard time surviving.


If there really is a goddess, please give your blessings upon this harsh worldー

Short stories directory


Konosuba Popularity poll Drama CD: Punishment for this Cheating Goddess

As mentioned last week, here are the drama CDs that we were working on.

This Audio Drama was released as a bonus after the recent konosuba popularity contest. For context, during that contest, Aqua got access to a button that gave her five times as much points as everyone else. This audio drama references that event.

For additional context, you may also check the results of the previous popularity poll and this comic that released with the poll itself.

(Not April fools) Konosuba Volume 17 and Dust 7 Release date announced!

Yeah, I know the internet is overflowing with fake news on this day, but this is a legit announcement. In a new tweet released today, Kadokawa announced the release date of Konosuba Volume 17 and Dust 6 to be the first of May, 2020.

The tweet contents are as follows:

Konosuba Volume 17: Releasing on May 1st! This volume will be the conclusion to the story.

However… In the afterword, there will be some information about the “after story” that never made it into the web version!?

Also, this may be shrunk down, but this is the first reveal of Mishima Kurone-sensei’s new cover art!

(1st of May) Along with the final volume of Konosuba, the final volume of the spinoff series “A time in the limelight for this fool too!” will be released! 🎊

In Kazuma’s absence, the Demon King’s Army launches an attack on Axel!? Dust will make full use of all the cunning that he has cultivated as a delinquent adventurer and all the relationship that he has built up(?) as he readies to confront this final battle.

Please bear witness to the final battle of Dust, the man who was loved by dragons above all else!

Introducing Megucoin

The stocks have fallen, your life savings are in ruins, and your collection of caps is worthless now that toilet paper has become the post apocalypse currency of choice, so you might be wondering, what can I do with my remaining 500 zimbabwean dollars?

Well, wonder no further.

Introducing: Megucoin.

Backed by Explosion Magic, one megucoin is valued at one casting of EXPLOSION, and can be redeemed at your closest Crimson Demon archmage. Once a day, every day, Megucoin will see a sudden EXPLOSION in value, guranteed.

Also available in many different styles [Thanks to Kasen and Sero for the coin art]

Think big. Buy Megucoin today.

Warning: Availablity of said Crimson Demon archmage is not guranteed. CGtranslations is not responsible for any property damage, terrain alteration, and aggroed inhabitants that may result from abusing Megucoin. Side effects may include obsession, bouts of megalomania, and death by angry giant frogs. Please consult your psychatrist before using Megucoin.

Konosuba Yorimichi: Chapter 7


Beware of Imposters

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker

[Note: This is the second of the Blu Ray short stories that I previously translated that ended up getting included in the Yorimichi compilation, hence why it’s going up on Wednesday instead of the usual time. Chapter 8 will be going up this weekend.

As usual for Blu Ray short stories, this story takes place around volume 4, so the status quo is a bit different from the more recent volumes.]

Continue reading Konosuba Yorimichi: Chapter 7