Category Archives: Konosuba

Untitled Party Short Story

Untitled Party short story

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker, Ulti

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014, this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut (or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes place around volume 4, so the status quo and character relationships are a little different from the later volumes.

Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]


ーAqua and the others were planning to surprise me as thanks for how I’ve been taking care of them every day.

I happened to hear that from an adventurer I know.

And the day after that exchange, Aqua called me up for seemingly no reason.

I wonder if this is what people feel when they find out that their friends are planning a surprise birthday party for them.

Stepping out into the backyard with my heart pounding in my chest, I found my companions playing a strange game.

“Out! Darkness, you’re out!”

“That’s impossible, I should’ve just barely made it safe!”

“From where I’m standing, you’re out. That means it’s Aqua’s turn next.”

From the sounds of it, they seem to be playing baseball, but none of them had any equipment.

Just then, Aqua noticed my presence and waved me over.

“You came at just the right time. Kazuma, you can be the referee. We can’t get a proper judgement with only the three of us.”

…You want me to be the referee?

“I’m fine with that, but what are you guys playing? It’s not baseball, right?”

I casually asked, but not just Aqua, Megumin and Darkness also gave me looks of surprise.

“Come on, Kazuma, you can already tell by the number of people present and this situation, right? You’ve been here for some time already, so if you still don’t know I’d be too embarrassed to show my face in public.”

“Cut it out, Aqua. Kazuma is obviously joking. There’s no way he doesn’t know.”

“Yeah, Kazuma is always out gathering information, so there’s no way that’s possible.”

Just what game are they playing?

More importantly, I have no idea what they are up to.

Is this pastime a common sight in this town, or rather, this world?

As I was racking my brains over how to answer, Aqua gathered the other two girls and whispered into their ear.

“Hey, does he really not know? If that’s the case, I’d be really disappointed in him.”

“No, that can’t be it. It’s Kazuma, you know? He’s not lacking in common sense like us…”

“For him who keeps treating us like problem children to not know about this…”

Despite the three of them whispering, I could clearly hear what they are talking about.

Is not knowing about this game really that big of a deal?

Crap, I’m starting to get nervous.

“O-Of course I know. More importantly, are you really fine with me being the referee? I mean, you know, I’ve never refereed before, so I’d like to see someone else do it…”

I pretended like I knew all about it.

I’ll keep up this act to fool them for now, and go look into it later.

Just as I thought thatー

“What are you saying? You need a guy to be the referee. It’s easy to referee, just take off your shoes and sit on your knees over there.”

Aqua said that.

I already know that this world is strange, but what is with that rule?

I took off my shoes as told and sat on my knees on the grass.

As I did so, Megumin and Darkness turned around and crouched. I could see their shoulders shaking from behind.

Did they start playing the game already?

”Looks like we’re all ready. Alright, let’s go!”

Aqua shouted before running at Darkness, gaining momentum before leaping over her.

Landing on her feet, she looked my way with a wide smile on her face.

“How was that? How many points!?”

I’m supposed to grade that?

“Hey, no fair, Aqua! You did that before everyone was ready, so it’s a no-go!”

“No, from what I can see, that was safe. Right, Kazuma?”

What’s with this out and safe and what not?

Even if you ask me, I have absolutely no idea!

As I struggled over forming a response, Aqua said.

“Oh, right, referee, we don’t have the juice for the final round. Could you go buy some for us?”

“Eh, I’m supposed to buy them!?”

What an unreasonable game!

ーStill, this is a good chance for me.

I can ask the people in town about this game while I’m out buying the juice.

As I started leaving towards town, Aqua and the others turned their backs to me and crouched. I think I could see their shoulders shaking from behind.

ーOh, right, I almost forgot.

I turned back and approached them, planning to ask if it needs to be a specific kind of juice or if any fruit juice will do…

“This is really amazing! I can’t believe Kazuma didn’t get that we were just teasing him and honestly went out to buy juice! After everything he put us through, this is really the perfect comeback for him! Hahahaha!”

“Did he not question why he needed to sit on his knees barefoot? Heh… Heheh, no, I can’t hold back my laughter… ”

“I-I’ve never seen Kazuma this obedient! What’s with that whole out and safe thing!? Anyway, let’s get all our laughter out before Kazuma comes back…”

While Aqua and Darkness were still laughing away, Megumin suddenly turned around while snickering and came face to face with me.

ーSeeing Megumin suddenly stiffen up, Aqua and Darkness also turned around to follow her gaze and froze up just like her.

“Alright, you three, let’s play a game I just thought up. When I say start… I’ll chase. You three run. I’ll use Steal. You three strip. Now then, take your places…!”

“Hey, why are you suddenly speaking in such stilted tones!? Communication is important you know! You’re joking! You’re joking, right!? Ah, wait, Megumin! Darkness too! Kazuma hasn’t said start yet…!”

Start.


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Untitled Darkness Short Story

Untitled Darkness short story

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker, Ulti

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014, this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut (or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes place around volume 4, so the status quo and character relationships are a little different from the later volumes.

Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]


I found a letter in the box today.

I don’t know who sent it, but it was addressed to Darkness.

In this world, paper is a high-priced luxury good.

Receiving a letter written on such a luxury good is part of the status of being a noble.

As I tried putting it up to the light and other such methods of sussing out the contents, I brought it over to Darkness.

Come to think of it, does this world have a tradition of sending new year’s greetings or some such?

I’ve never heard anyone talking about Christmas cards or greeting cards or anything like that.

As such thoughts went through my mind, I opened the door to Darkness’s room…

“Darkness, there’s a letter for you. There’s no return address, but it’s probably from some noble…”

I immediately stiffened up upon opening the door.

Darkness, who stood bent over in front of the bed, also stiffened up.

Darkness’s smooth, pale skin was clearly visible.

As she’s bent over, her long golden hair hung over her breasts, getting in the way… No, gracefully hiding the important parts of her breasts.

And her hands were placed on her waist, holding her pair of white panties…

…Long story short, Darkness was clad only in a pair of white panties and was about to remove them when I came in.

How could I have fallen for such a simple trap…

Darkness took a deep breath.

Yup, she’s definitely about to scream…!

“Mmmmph! Mmmph!?”

Darkness covered her chest with her hands and let out a muffled voice.

At the spur of the moment, I leapt forward and covered Darkness’s mouth.

Darkness gulped.

It seems like she couldn’t do anything right now.

Oh, right, if she removed her hands from her chest to do something, her breasts would become clearly visible to me.

Still, her current state is quite impressive indeed.

She’s naked from the waist up, covering her breasts only with her hands, and the only article of clothing from her waist down is a pair of panties.

Perhaps realizing what kind of state she’s in, Darkness’s cheeks flushed in bright red.

And not just her face, but her shoulders too.

Tears began gathering in her eyes, and she gave me a look like she was about to say something…

No, that’s not it!

At least glare at me or get angry or something…!

What should I do? How did I get into this position!?

Thank you very much. Thank you… No, wait, this is not the time for that!

I can do this, I can keep my head cool. I can get out of this lucky pervert situation that happens so often in light novels and mangaー Oh, thank you so very much!

Anyway, first is my hand.

I need to let go…!

I looked back towards the teary-eyed, yet oddly quiet Darkness who was still hiding her chest in her hands.

S-She’s not going to scream, right?

No, wait, even if she does scream, it won’t be a big deal. It’s simply an accident, so there’s nothing to feel guilty over.

Oh, right, the letter! I’ll give her the letter I brought!

Once I do that, we’ll be able to turn this entire incident into yet another thing to laugh about…!

I handed over the letter that was supposed to be in my hand…

 

……The letter…?

 

“Hmm? A letter?”

Aqua’s voice came to us from the hallway.

Hearing that unexpected voice caused both me and Darkness to jump up in shock.

The door is currently wide open.

And right in front of the door lay the letter that I dropped.

Aqua is going to pick up the letter and check the recipient.

And once she’s done that, she would naturally walk into this room.

I hastily looked around the room

My gaze fell on the closet.

I’m still holding my hand over Darkness’s mouth.

I grabbed Darkness’s hand, who was trembling for some reason, and pulled her towards the closet…!

“Mmmmph! Mmmph!?”

Darkness’s eyes widened and she made some muffled voices, but she followed me into the closet without resistance.

She’s strangely cooperative…

 

…Ah!

 

I suddenly realized what I just did.

Because I pulled one of her hands away, she only had one hand left to cover her chest, and she’s still still desperately trying to keep her assets covered with just that hand…

Just what am I doing?

I’ll just let Aqua call me the worst or whatever.

I loosened my grip on Darkness’s mouth…

“Oh, Aqua, what are you doing? Why are you turning that letter around in your hand?”

Hearing Megumin’s voice, I panicked and pulled Darkness into the closet together with me.

 

Just what am I doing? Really, what was I thinking?

 

“A letter addressed to Darkness? …She’s not in her room. Did she go out somewhere?”

Darkness, naked except for a pair of panties, is currently wedged on top of me inside a cramped space.

“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Kazuma-san around either. Maybe they went off somewhere together.”

Aqua’s voice came from inside the room.

Dammit, stop talking already and get out of here!

Otherwise things will get bad. It’ll get seriously bad!

Just in front of my nose is a teary- eyed Darkness, my hand still placed firmly over her mouth.

“Hey, don’t close your eyes. C-Come on, why do you give up so easily in such situations? Hang in there! Wait, stop, don’t remove that hand covering your chest! It’d be really bad. No I mean, it looks really good but no I think it’d still be really bad…!”

Thank you very much! Thank you very much!


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Konosuba Dust Spinoff 6: Short story 2

Working Part Time at the General Store

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker, Ulti


“Welcome, welcome!”

I stood in front of the store and shouted in order to attract customers.

There were several people who glanced my way, but no one who bothered to take a look at the shelves.

I thought working at a general store consists of arranging all the goods and waiting for the customers to drop by, but not a single customer has shown up.

“What are you doing? You’re not trying to turn over a new leaf by doing hard labour, are you?”

“Welcome… What, it’s just Yunyun.”

I thought I finally managed to get a customer, but it just turned out to be the loner, Yunyun.

“If you are just here to poke fun, then go elsewhere. I’m busy over here.”

“So did the guild finally fire you?”

“Of course not! I just got suspended for a few days!”

When I got drunk and insisted on massaging Luna’s boobs, some other adventurers got in the way and it all ended in a huge brawl… Dammit, it’s all their fault.

“Probably for another stupid reason.”

“Just leave me alone. Oh, right, do you want to buy anything? It’s mostly junk, though.”

“The storekeeper is going to get angry if he hears you say that.”

“He caught a cold and is sleeping it off. He won’t hear you no matter what you say.”

The owner is currently sleeping in the back room.

“Still, I’m surprised you’re actually hard at work. I would’ve thought you would just stand outside slacking off.”

“I would love to, but my pay is influenced by the amount of items I sell. I’ll get a huge commission if I make a sale. So, you want to buy anything?”

I’m working in place of the old man who’s down with a cold.

When we started discussing the salary, those are the conditions he laid down.

Cough… If I don’t do that, you’d just slack off” he said.

Well, he knows me quite well.

Thanks to that, my plans to laze around reading the books he has for sale have gone up in smoke.

“I’m a little concerned that the only person manning the store is you, but these items are genuine goods, right? Do you have any items you recommend?”

“Ah, well, that is a pretty decent sword.”

“I’m a spellcaster…”

“Then, what about that huge shield over there?”

“Have you ever seen a mage with a shield?”

“You know, people don’t like customers who are too picky.”

“I know your heart isn’t in it, but you should at least try…”

I can’t help it. I’ve only just started working here. There’s no way I could’ve gotten familiar with all the items in this store that quickly.

“Ah, I know, what about this? This item will bring you good luck. I highly recommend it.”

“That’s more like it. Let me see… What is this?”

“As you can see, it’s an empty wine bottle.”

I pulled out an empty glass bottle with the label scraped off.

I did give it a good wash, but it still smells of alcohol.

“How is this item supposed to bring me good luck?”

“I happened to be drinking from that bottle when I won a game of cards. You know it’s pretty rare for me to win, right?”

“Dust-san was drinking from this… Ugh!”

“Ow!”

She just threw the bottle at me.

“What are you doing?”

“That’s my line! Why is a bottle that you drank from being sold?”

“That’s because I put a price tag on it.”

If I managed to sell that, all the profits would go to me. It’s a perfect plan.”

“He’ll get mad at you…”

“Haven’t you heard the saying ‘It’s only a crime if you get caught’?”

“I wouldn’t know any such outlaw sayings!”

“Tell me if you have anything to get rid of. I’ll sell it for you. We’ll split the profit 50/50.”

“No way. I don’t want to be your partner in crime. And why am I only getting half?”

Stop being such a stickler for the details.

I was hoping to sell her something expensive, but she doesn’t trust me in the slightest.

She’s easily tricked by others, but for some reason she has her guard up around me. Well, in that case, it would probably be better to get something valuable from her than selling stuff to her.

“You’re a brat, but you’re quite beautiful, aren’t you?”

“Eh, er, where did that come from? Flattery won’t get you anywhere!”

She says that, but her face is blushing and she’s clearly embarrassed.

It’s not really flattery, I just said whatever came to mind.

“Your loner personality can’t be fixed, but you are pretty to look at… Oh, I’ve got a great idea. Am I a genius or what?”

“D-Don’t think I’m some easy woman who’ll do anything you say just because you called me pretty. But I’ll buy an item or two if you want.”

“… Sometimes I’m really worried for you. No, nevermind that, give me your panties.”

“Worried? Kind words won’t… Wait, panties?”

“Yeah. Used panties can go for quite a sum, you know? So just give me the pair you’re wearing… Hey, your eyes are glowing. Y-You’re kidding, right? H-Hey, stop chanting your spell! Magic from a Crimson Demon is no jokeー”


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Konosuba Dust Spinoff 6: Short story 1

Faitfore and Restaurants

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker, Ulti


“Siiiiigh.”

I let out a huge sigh after checking the contents of my wallet.

My gaze rose towards the table.

“Siiiiiiiiiigh.”

Which made me let out an even longer sigh.

A mountain of plates lie on the table in front of me.

Just a short while ago, this table was piled full of food that wouldn’t have looked out of place at a banquet hall, but now the plates are almost all empty.

I looked over at the girl hiding in the shadow of the mountain of plates.

Her mouth is covered in sauce, and hasn’t spoken a word since she started eating, continuously shoveling food into her mouth without break.

I’ve gotten used to seeing her like this, so it isn’t surprising, but I still have to wonder where exactly in that small body of hers does all this food go.

“Is it tasty?”

“Yeah, it’s really tasty.”

She swallowed her puffed out cheeks in one big gulp before giving me a genuine, innocent smile.

“… Well, that’s good.”

If it was anyone else other than Faitfore, I probably would’ve had a few choice words for them, but, oh well, that’s just how it is.

Still, I’ll have to get a lot more money if I want to let her have a full stomach each day.

Even the underground loan sharks have stopped lending me money.

They keep saying something about me refusing to pay, starting a fight, and getting them all in jail for a couple of days or something.

Those guys really aren’t cut out for service work. You need to be more easy-going to succeed in such an industry.

While I was thinking about that, Faitfore seemed to have cleaned the table out.

I’ll just ignore how she’s staring at the menu. Right now I don’t even have a single extra eris left to pay for the meal.

I lifted Faitfore onto my shoulders as she stared longingly at the menu and left the store.

“Thank you very much! We look forward to seeing you again! We’re really looking forward to seeing you again!

The waiter sent me off with a smile.

Well, yes, the restaurant must be making tons of money with Faitfore eating like that.

If I were in that position, I’d be hard pressed not to smile too.

“Great, now I’m flat broke. I really want to take on a quest, but Lynn and the others are on break today.”

Normally, I would hit up the other convenient parties, but the Crimson Loner chose today of all days to be nowhere to be found, and Loli Succubus brushed me off with “I’m busy helping Vanir-sama today, so that’s impossible.”

“Dammit, just when I’m in trouble, everyone just brushes me off… What is it?”

When I felt someone pulling at my sleeve, and I looked down to see Faitfore looking up at me with puppy eyes while pointing at something.

… I have a really bad feeling about this.

“What is the matter?”

“I’m a little hungry.”

I followed her finger and my gaze fell upon a roadside stall.

She just ate enough food to feed ten people…

“I would really love to feed you, but I don’t have any money right now… Oh, wait, is thatー?”

As I was trying to convince Faitfore, a certain sign came into view.

Big eater challenge! If you win, you’ll get a prize in addition to the free meal!】

“Well, now, what do we have here?”

“Dust, you are making a really ugly face right now.”

Ignoring what she said, I grabbed Faitfore’s hand and barged triumphantly into the restaurant with that sign out front.

 

In front of Faitfore lies an inordinately large bowl that you would not think could fit inside such a small child.

And in front of it is the restaurant owner who until now was completely at ease.

“I-I can’t believe it… How could such a small child eat that much!?”

The owner looked at the empty bowl and fell to his knees in despair.

“How was it? Was it tasty?”

“It was good. Thank you for the meal.”

She rubbed her belly with a satisfied expression.

Even for her, she would be full for now after eating such a large amount of food. Probably.

“Now, then, Mr. Owner, isn’t there something you should be giving me?”

“Damn, I put the price that high because I knew no one would be able to finish it…”

“Spare me your grumblings, just hand it over… Hey, let go! Stop being a sore loser and give up already!”

In the end, I had to forcibly wrench the bag of money from his grasp.

With the reward in hand, I walked towards the door with Faitfore in tow, before stopping right at the exit and turning back to the owner.

“Hey, your customer is leaving, you know? Isn’t there something you are supposed to say?”

Grrrrr… T-Thank you very much.”

I walked out onto the street with those forced words of gratitude at my back.

“Man, not only did we get a free meal, but we also made out like bandits!”

Faitfore is in a good mood because her belly is full, and I am also in a good mood because my wallet is full.

Today has been a great day.

As I continued walking down the street, I suddenly felt another tug at my sleeve.

“Dust…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

Wandering around, I found another store holding a similar eating contest and barged right in.

 

ーNeedless to say, in a few days, there wasn’t a single store Axel that was offering an all-you-can-eat buffet or eating contests.


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