The same old Town of Axel──
On a certain afternoon.
“Hey, Aqua, I need to ask you for a favour.”
I was happily taking a nap in the back garden with Emperor Zell on my belly, when a NEET came to interrupt me.
I opened my eyes and whispered to avoid waking up Emperor Zell,
“…Can’t you see what I’m doing right now? I’m taking a nap because I got sleepy after lunch. Don’t wake me up unless the world is in trouble or the heavens are about to fall.”
“If something like that was really happening, I wouldn’t bother coming to a simpleton like you.”
How could this man call a noble and beautiful goddess like me a simpleton?
“You’re really lucky I’m in a good mood after eating my fill, you hikkiNEET. If I were in a bad mood, you’d be a crying NEET right now.”
“Oh, you sure have some guts, you Goddess of Naps. How about I turn you into a Goddess of Tears instead?”
After I sincerely apologized, the easily tricked NEET let out a sigh.
“It’s not anything major, and you can go back to your nap once you’re done with it.”
“Well, if it’s not anything major, then don’t bother me about it… That was just a little joke, so don’t make such a scary face. If you do anything horrible to me, Emperor Zell who has now evolved into a high-level dragon won’t stand idly by.”
I raised up Emperor Zell who evolved into a dragon after drinking a mysterious potion, and the low-leveled NEET picked up the furball that was sleeping by his feet.
“If you’re going to use that chicken as your shield, then I’ll use this cat that is the natural enemy of chickens… Hey, why is she scared of a bird when she’s a cat?”
The furball instantly started struggling in the NEET’s arms, like she’s trying to say that fighting Emperor Zell is an absurd idea.
“It’s obvious that a cat can’t stand up against a dragon. That black furball fears Emperor Zell by instinct.”
“Hey, Chomusuke, don’t you have any cat instincts? Even a chicken is looking down on you, you know? Are you sure you are an evil god?”
This chuuni-NEET said something that sounded a lot like what Megumin would say.
…Well, it is true that this cat is quite strange, what with her baring fangs only against a goddess like me and her fondness for taking baths…
“…Ah, I don’t have time to care about Chomusuke right now. More importantly, Aqua, can you get in the bath?”
“So you finally reveal your true colours, you brutish NEET. You don’t normally see me as a woman at all, but now you’re telling me to take a shower before seeing you…!”
“I’m going to smack you if you keep saying such stupid stuff. It’s my turn to clean the toilet today, but Darkness and Megumin came back covered in oil and herbs earlier, so cleaning it up is proving to be a pain.”
“What happened to those two to get them to come back in such a state? Are they trying to change classes to fried food?”
I’m really curious what happened to result in this situation.
“The two of them went on a monster hunting quest together. Well, I’m sure it’s something stupid so I didn’t ask too much about it. Anyway, can you please purify the bathwater for me?”
What is this man talking about?
“Do you think goddesses are some kind of detergent or something? If I’m going to take a bath, I would rather take one in a tub that has been scrubbed clean.”
“I’ll buy you a mug of ice cold Crimson Beer after you’re done with your bath.”
I decided to take a bath.
“──Hey, Aqua, you sure are drinking something nice even though it’s only noon. Darkness isn’t around, so do you mind giving me a sip?”
As I was enjoying my ice cold beer after my bath, Megumin came up and talked to me.
“This is my reward for cleaning the bath. In other words, I cleaned up after the two of you dirtied the toilet. If you want a sip, why don’t you start by apologizing for making such a mess?”
“Gurk…! I never thought there’d come a day when Aqua would be cleaning up after me… But I do want a taste of alcohol, so I’m sorry for causing you trouble, Aqua.”
That’s a rare honest apology from her. She must really want a taste.
“You can’t have that even if you apologize, Megumin! It’s still too early for you to be drinking alcohol! Hey, Aqua, get this! After we were done with the monster hunting, Megumin found a patch of herbs and did her thing…”
“W-What are you saying, Darkness! You were the one who was clamouring to keep that Oily Slime we found as a pet! Thanks to you I ended up covered in oil, too!”
I enjoyed my glass of beer as the two of them started arguing with each other.
Just then, I heard the angry voice of the housewife-NEET come from the bathroom,
“Aqua! You were playing around with the soap and shampoo again, weren’t you!? They’re all gone!”
“In the first place, Darkness, you are way too obsessed with slimy stuff! The other day too, you were gazing enviously at the piece of Tokoroten slime I got. You really shouldn’t play with food!”
“Even I wouldn’t do something like that! My body just reacted upon hearing the word ‘slime’…!”
As the voices of these inept girls drifted through this calm afternoon, I enjoyed my mug of beer.
“Hey, Aqua! I was planning to take a bath after everyone was clean! Go out and buy some shampoo and soap!”
I once again managed to protect the peace of Axel──!