All posts by cannongerbil

Konosuba Dust Spinoff 6: Short story 2

Working Part Time at the General Store

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker, Ulti


“Welcome, welcome!”

I stood in front of the store and shouted in order to attract customers.

There were several people who glanced my way, but no one who bothered to take a look at the shelves.

I thought working at a general store consists of arranging all the goods and waiting for the customers to drop by, but not a single customer has shown up.

“What are you doing? You’re not trying to turn over a new leaf by doing hard labour, are you?”

“Welcome… What, it’s just Yunyun.”

I thought I finally managed to get a customer, but it just turned out to be the loner, Yunyun.

“If you are just here to poke fun, then go elsewhere. I’m busy over here.”

“So did the guild finally fire you?”

“Of course not! I just got suspended for a few days!”

When I got drunk and insisted on massaging Luna’s boobs, some other adventurers got in the way and it all ended in a huge brawl… Dammit, it’s all their fault.

“Probably for another stupid reason.”

“Just leave me alone. Oh, right, do you want to buy anything? It’s mostly junk, though.”

“The storekeeper is going to get angry if he hears you say that.”

“He caught a cold and is sleeping it off. He won’t hear you no matter what you say.”

The owner is currently sleeping in the back room.

“Still, I’m surprised you’re actually hard at work. I would’ve thought you would just stand outside slacking off.”

“I would love to, but my pay is influenced by the amount of items I sell. I’ll get a huge commission if I make a sale. So, you want to buy anything?”

I’m working in place of the old man who’s down with a cold.

When we started discussing the salary, those are the conditions he laid down.

Cough… If I don’t do that, you’d just slack off” he said.

Well, he knows me quite well.

Thanks to that, my plans to laze around reading the books he has for sale have gone up in smoke.

“I’m a little concerned that the only person manning the store is you, but these items are genuine goods, right? Do you have any items you recommend?”

“Ah, well, that is a pretty decent sword.”

“I’m a spellcaster…”

“Then, what about that huge shield over there?”

“Have you ever seen a mage with a shield?”

“You know, people don’t like customers who are too picky.”

“I know your heart isn’t in it, but you should at least try…”

I can’t help it. I’ve only just started working here. There’s no way I could’ve gotten familiar with all the items in this store that quickly.

“Ah, I know, what about this? This item will bring you good luck. I highly recommend it.”

“That’s more like it. Let me see… What is this?”

“As you can see, it’s an empty wine bottle.”

I pulled out an empty glass bottle with the label scraped off.

I did give it a good wash, but it still smells of alcohol.

“How is this item supposed to bring me good luck?”

“I happened to be drinking from that bottle when I won a game of cards. You know it’s pretty rare for me to win, right?”

“Dust-san was drinking from this… Ugh!”

“Ow!”

She just threw the bottle at me.

“What are you doing?”

“That’s my line! Why is a bottle that you drank from being sold?”

“That’s because I put a price tag on it.”

If I managed to sell that, all the profits would go to me. It’s a perfect plan.”

“He’ll get mad at you…”

“Haven’t you heard the saying ‘It’s only a crime if you get caught’?”

“I wouldn’t know any such outlaw sayings!”

“Tell me if you have anything to get rid of. I’ll sell it for you. We’ll split the profit 50/50.”

“No way. I don’t want to be your partner in crime. And why am I only getting half?”

Stop being such a stickler for the details.

I was hoping to sell her something expensive, but she doesn’t trust me in the slightest.

She’s easily tricked by others, but for some reason she has her guard up around me. Well, in that case, it would probably be better to get something valuable from her than selling stuff to her.

“You’re a brat, but you’re quite beautiful, aren’t you?”

“Eh, er, where did that come from? Flattery won’t get you anywhere!”

She says that, but her face is blushing and she’s clearly embarrassed.

It’s not really flattery, I just said whatever came to mind.

“Your loner personality can’t be fixed, but you are pretty to look at… Oh, I’ve got a great idea. Am I a genius or what?”

“D-Don’t think I’m some easy woman who’ll do anything you say just because you called me pretty. But I’ll buy an item or two if you want.”

“… Sometimes I’m really worried for you. No, nevermind that, give me your panties.”

“Worried? Kind words won’t… Wait, panties?”

“Yeah. Used panties can go for quite a sum, you know? So just give me the pair you’re wearing… Hey, your eyes are glowing. Y-You’re kidding, right? H-Hey, stop chanting your spell! Magic from a Crimson Demon is no jokeー”


Epilogue

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Konosuba Dust Spinoff 6: Short story 1

Faitfore and Restaurants

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker, Ulti


“Siiiiigh.”

I let out a huge sigh after checking the contents of my wallet.

My gaze rose towards the table.

“Siiiiiiiiiigh.”

Which made me let out an even longer sigh.

A mountain of plates lie on the table in front of me.

Just a short while ago, this table was piled full of food that wouldn’t have looked out of place at a banquet hall, but now the plates are almost all empty.

I looked over at the girl hiding in the shadow of the mountain of plates.

Her mouth is covered in sauce, and hasn’t spoken a word since she started eating, continuously shoveling food into her mouth without break.

I’ve gotten used to seeing her like this, so it isn’t surprising, but I still have to wonder where exactly in that small body of hers does all this food go.

“Is it tasty?”

“Yeah, it’s really tasty.”

She swallowed her puffed out cheeks in one big gulp before giving me a genuine, innocent smile.

“… Well, that’s good.”

If it was anyone else other than Faitfore, I probably would’ve had a few choice words for them, but, oh well, that’s just how it is.

Still, I’ll have to get a lot more money if I want to let her have a full stomach each day.

Even the underground loan sharks have stopped lending me money.

They keep saying something about me refusing to pay, starting a fight, and getting them all in jail for a couple of days or something.

Those guys really aren’t cut out for service work. You need to be more easy-going to succeed in such an industry.

While I was thinking about that, Faitfore seemed to have cleaned the table out.

I’ll just ignore how she’s staring at the menu. Right now I don’t even have a single extra eris left to pay for the meal.

I lifted Faitfore onto my shoulders as she stared longingly at the menu and left the store.

“Thank you very much! We look forward to seeing you again! We’re really looking forward to seeing you again!

The waiter sent me off with a smile.

Well, yes, the restaurant must be making tons of money with Faitfore eating like that.

If I were in that position, I’d be hard pressed not to smile too.

“Great, now I’m flat broke. I really want to take on a quest, but Lynn and the others are on break today.”

Normally, I would hit up the other convenient parties, but the Crimson Loner chose today of all days to be nowhere to be found, and Loli Succubus brushed me off with “I’m busy helping Vanir-sama today, so that’s impossible.”

“Dammit, just when I’m in trouble, everyone just brushes me off… What is it?”

When I felt someone pulling at my sleeve, and I looked down to see Faitfore looking up at me with puppy eyes while pointing at something.

… I have a really bad feeling about this.

“What is the matter?”

“I’m a little hungry.”

I followed her finger and my gaze fell upon a roadside stall.

She just ate enough food to feed ten people…

“I would really love to feed you, but I don’t have any money right now… Oh, wait, is thatー?”

As I was trying to convince Faitfore, a certain sign came into view.

Big eater challenge! If you win, you’ll get a prize in addition to the free meal!】

“Well, now, what do we have here?”

“Dust, you are making a really ugly face right now.”

Ignoring what she said, I grabbed Faitfore’s hand and barged triumphantly into the restaurant with that sign out front.

 

In front of Faitfore lies an inordinately large bowl that you would not think could fit inside such a small child.

And in front of it is the restaurant owner who until now was completely at ease.

“I-I can’t believe it… How could such a small child eat that much!?”

The owner looked at the empty bowl and fell to his knees in despair.

“How was it? Was it tasty?”

“It was good. Thank you for the meal.”

She rubbed her belly with a satisfied expression.

Even for her, she would be full for now after eating such a large amount of food. Probably.

“Now, then, Mr. Owner, isn’t there something you should be giving me?”

“Damn, I put the price that high because I knew no one would be able to finish it…”

“Spare me your grumblings, just hand it over… Hey, let go! Stop being a sore loser and give up already!”

In the end, I had to forcibly wrench the bag of money from his grasp.

With the reward in hand, I walked towards the door with Faitfore in tow, before stopping right at the exit and turning back to the owner.

“Hey, your customer is leaving, you know? Isn’t there something you are supposed to say?”

Grrrrr… T-Thank you very much.”

I walked out onto the street with those forced words of gratitude at my back.

“Man, not only did we get a free meal, but we also made out like bandits!”

Faitfore is in a good mood because her belly is full, and I am also in a good mood because my wallet is full.

Today has been a great day.

As I continued walking down the street, I suddenly felt another tug at my sleeve.

“Dust…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

Wandering around, I found another store holding a similar eating contest and barged right in.

 

ーNeedless to say, in a few days, there wasn’t a single store Axel that was offering an all-you-can-eat buffet or eating contests.


Epilogue

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Extra special bonus: Vol 17 Gamers Short Story

Today, I win again!

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker

[So this is the short story that has Konosuba fans in Japan all a flutter. I’m releasing this early because I know a lot of people have been dying to know what exactly it contains, and also as compensation for the fact that Volume 17 probably won’t be ready for another month or two. I hope this story can tide everyone over until then.

Also, this short story technically takes place after Volume 17. It doesn’t spoil anything and it can be enjoyed without knowledge of its events, but just keep that in mind if you are a stickler for this sort of stuff.

Well, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this little snippet.]


… I called out to Kazuma who was laying on the sofa, casually patting Chomusuke laying on his lap.

“Kazuma, if you are free, can you go out with me for a bit?”

Upon hearing that, Kazuma looked up at me and said,

“If you want to do your daily routine, wait ‘till after we have lunch. If you need someone to be a witness for some duel you’re about to pick with someone, get Aqua who can use recovery magic. If you want me to follow you because something you want just came out, then go get Darkness.”

“That’s not it at all! Just what kind of person do you think I am!?”

Those seem vaguely familiar somehow, but if I admit it, I lose.

And the strongest Crimson Demon can’t possibly be defeated.

“Do you want to go on a date… You don’t need to jump up like that! You gave Chomusuke quite a shock!”

 

ーAs we wandered around the town of Axel, Kazuma tilted his head and said,

“… Say, Megumin, you invited me on a date, right?”

“That’s right. Doesn’t it feel very much like a date when we walk together like this?”

Kazuma had a frown on his face for a while now, though I have no idea what he’s so unhappy about.

“Yeah, but, those people who have been sneaking around behind us all this time are your classmates, right? You only invited me out to show off in front of them, right?”

Indeed, just as Kazuma said, three of my classmates have been following me.

One of them is my rival, Yunyun.

The other two must be Funikura and Dondonka, or something like that.

I have no idea why they are following us. Maybe they just have too much free time on their hands.

“Well, it’s true that I want to assert my dominance over those sore losers who are at the age where they should be seeking a boyfriend, but it’s also true that I do genuinely want to go on a date with you, Kazuma.”

When I told Kazuma my honest feelings, he blushed red and started acting suspiciously.

“O-oh… I see… Well, I’m fine with that…”

Seeing Kazuma’s awkward behaviour, the people behind me suddenly erupted in muffled shrieks and whispers.

I’m sure those three are reaching the peak of their excitement.

Then, Kazuma opened his mouth like he just remembered something.

“You know, the dates I know consist of much more flirting. Like walking around with our hands intertwined, or kissing whenever our eyes meet.”

“I can understand holding hands, but if we start kissing in the middle of the street, the other adventurers will tease us, you know? …And, doing such things in front of my classmates is embarrassing…”

I casually held his arm as I said that, and once again muffled screams came from behind me.

I really wish they’d stop stalking me and go somewhere else to play.

Kazuma seems to have heard them too, and gave me a confident smile.

“Heh… Then, today, let’s show your classmates what you look like after ascending the stairway of adulthood. Leave it to me, I know a thing or two about such things.”

“Kazuma, whenever you get full of yourself like this, you always mess up, so don’t do anything unnecessary.”

He’ll definitely get full of himself, so I had to hammer home what not to do.

Those three will probably go home in tears after seeing us flirt with each other.

So, once they leaveー

“… Wait, did you just say ‘Doing such things in front of my classmates’? That means…”

“Yes, that’s exactly what you think it means! Come on, let’s get on with our date already!”

He’s as blunt and lacking in tact as ever, but I guess that’s part of him that I fell in love with.

Looking down in order to hide my blushing face, I pulled on Kazuma’s hand and tried to leaveー

“… It’s only been a short time since I last saw you, but you’ve really changed since then…”

Only for my path to be blocked by a blushing Funikura.

“What are you trying to do, Funikura? Are you not satisfied with just stalking, so now you want to get in the way too!?”

“I’m Funifura! Remember my name already! And I’m not stalking you for the sake of it… I came here to deliver a letter, and I can’t stand to watch you be lovey-dovey with him any more…”

Funifura pushed a letter into my hands while averting her blushing face.

“This is a letter from my parents and Komekko… S-Sorry, I thought you were just here to spy on me, so I tried my best to put on a show…”

“Y-Yunyun said that the two of you really are an item now, but I still don’t believe it! There’s no way you who had shown absolutely no interest in love could’ve beaten me…”

I’m no longer a child who places such importance on winning and losing.

Honestly, I really couldn’t care less about Funifura and the others anymore, so I really wish they’d hurry up and go…

“Hey, enough about that already. Let’s be alone together so we can make out!”

“Why do you have to open your mouth at a time like this!? Okay, fine, I get it. Let’s go back home!”

At Kazuma’s words, I hastily snatched the letter from Funifura’s hands to hide my impatience.

It’s fine, it’s not embarrassing at all.

If anything, I want them to spread this news to the other people back at the village.

This would put an end to my rivalry with Yunyun and strike a final blow to Funifura, who had been making fun of me for so long…!

 

Funifura, who had constantly poked fun at me and Yunyun about matters of romance back when we were classmates, seemed to finally admit defeat and broke into tearsー

“Uwaaaaah! I didn’t want to believe it, but it’s just as Yunyun said, the two of you really are an item now! You two are definitely already busy making babies!”

“W-W-W-We haven’t gone that far yet! Wait! Please don’t spread false rumours about me!”

Funifura took off running after leaving that ridiculous line, and I chased after herー


Volume 17 Epilogue

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Untitled Megumin Short Story

Untitled Megumin short story

TL: Cannongerbil

Editor: Striker

[Originally linked by Natsume from his blog on May 2nd, 2014, this story (and several more!) was never officially published. It might be that he dropped them, or that they didn’t make the cut (or maybe he just wanted to have fun?). In any case, this takes place around volume 4, so the status quo and character relationships are a little different from the later volumes.

Thanks to Striker for digging these up.]


On a certain afternoon.

“I really want to see a real mage at least once.”

After enjoying a light meal at the guild, I muttered that over a cup of tea.

As I did so, Megumin, seated opposite me, dropped her spoon along with her jaw.

“… W-What did you just say?”

“Hmm? No, I just thought I wanted to see a real mage at least once. There are a lot of people in this town who happen to be spellcasters, but they don’t quite match the image of a mage that I have.”

ーAt those words, the atmosphere in the guild changed.

“… Kazuma, are you picking a fight with the mage right in front of you? As a Crimson Demon, famed for producing many exceptional mages, I can’t let that slide… Why don’t you describe the image of a mage that you have in your mind? If there is even one person in town who fits that image, I’m going to have you apologize.”

“No, I’m not trying to pick a fight or anything. It’s just that my idea of a mage is…”

Megumin slammed on the table in protest, and some of the other adventurers in the guild nodded in agreement.

“… It’d be someone who has a high amount of pride in the value of magic and refuses to use it for trivial matters… Like using Tinder to warm up the snacks he was served while drinking, or casting Blizzard in the stables on warm nights only to get scolded in the morning for drenching the place…”

The man a few tables over casually roasting his squid over a plate, along with several other adventurers, suddenly stiffened up.

“And there’s the guy who scalded himself after throwing a fireball into the public baths after complaining that the water is too cold, and the guy who uses his instant kill spell that he’s so proud of for construction work…”

“Please stop! I’ll admit that we aren’t that great, so please don’t say anything more!”

With Megumin’s concession, and seeing some people in the guild were shifting uncomfortably in their seats, I agreed to stop elaborating there and went back to the original topic.

“Well, we’ve gotten a little off track, but I really want to see a proper mage. I mean, the mages in this town are, you know, depending on their mood, they’d blast away with offensive spells and pick a fight with muscle-bound vanguards. Mages are supposed to be more mild-mannered, calm… And wise, you know?”

“I-I’m plenty mild-mannered… Sorry, sorry! I’m sorry for blasting away with Explosion without thinking! Please stop looking at me like that!”

“… Anyway, I want to see a real mage. For instance… Does anyone here have a grimoire or something? Like someone whose actual day job is deciphering magical texts?”

At my words, the various mages who were listening closely to me suddenly averted their gaze.

“Is there not a single one!? Like researching lost magics or refining magic circle constructions or doing experiments with alchemy!? Mages are supposed to be the same as scholars, aren’t they!?… Hey, you’re burning the squid!

 

ーIn a dimly lit room, a hooded figure chanted in a low and heavy voice like she was reciting a forbidden spell.

“Oh, great power of the earth, waters that trace from the source of life… Red… Red… The fresh, red fruit of the devil…! Mix together with the flesh of the devil, and be transformed by the heat of my fires to what you should be!”

The robed figure raised both hands as the pot in front of her started giving out a wonderful scent.

“Thee who has been transformed into thy most appetizing form! Become my blood, my flesh, and the source of my power!”

ーMegumin said with a smile, removing her hood and ladling a scoop of frog meat stew onto a plate.

“… Say, this is just stew, right? Do you really need to do such a dubious ceremony to create it?”

“Of course. That is the power of words. By doing so, the bruised ingredients that we were able to get cheaply will be transformed into high quality food.”

“… Oh, so magic can do that too. When you said you were going to show me your wizardly side and started cooking, I had half a mind to go home… So this really was a magic ritual.”

“No, it’s just a lie. This is just a normal stew, I just said those lines during cooking for the atmosphere… Ow-ow-ow, I’m sorry, please stop!”

As I pulled on Megumin’s cheeks, I heard the footsteps of several people rushing about in the room outside.

Megumin said that she’ll show me a proper magic ritual and led me to the kitchen after borrowing it from the guild, but…

“Hey, hurry up and prepare while the Crimson Demon girl buys us time! We’re going to show that guy real magic…!”

“How do you draw a magic circle again!? Does anyone know the magic circle for summoning familiars!?”

“Crystal balls are pretty mage-like, right? Where do they sell them again?”

As the mages made a fuss out in the guild, I took a sip from Megumin’s stew.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect my careless remark to result in such an incident… This is pretty good.”

“Well, spellcasters in general tend to be a prideful bunch, so be careful in the future… Would you like seconds?”

As Megumin got me another ladle full of stew, the doors to the kitchen flew open.

“We’re done with the preparations! Now, let’s show you what a true mage is like!”

 

ーReally, how did it come to this?

“Heheh, now, listen to me. When you talk about mages, what comes to mind is, of courseー!”

“If you say magical girl at your age, I’m gonna smack you.”

“Gurk!?… Sniffle…”

One of the ladies, dressed in a frilly, gothic lolita-looking outfit, backed away in tears.

“… Really? I thought a mage would definitely be some old geezer, so I went out and bought a mustache…”

“I-I’ve been catching pigeons at the park so that I could make them appear from my handkerchief…!”

That isn’t magic, it’s just a trick.

ーJust as the spellcasters started raising a fuss.

“Say, what exactly is this ‘real mage’ you’re talking about? Can you tell us what kind of magic you have in mind?”

A lady dressed in a bunny girl outfit standing next to the guy with pigeons asked.

…Did I accidentally ask the spellcasters in this down to do something impossible?

Like creating a house out of gingerbread?

No, no that’s just from a fairy tale. If I raise the bar even higher than it is now, I might end up making all the candy store owners and children in this town cry.

Mage, mage…

The other thing that mages can do is…

“… Oh, yeah, fly! They can ride on a staff and fly through… Judging from your faces, that seems impossible.”

I trailed off after seeing the sullen faces looking back at me.

“… Fly. Okay. Fly. If we can fly, you’ll acknowledge us as true mages, right!?”

However, the bunny girl lady said that with determination.

The lady’s expression is firm, and I can tell there’s a strong will behind it

Just as I started feeling a little remorseful for hurting their pride like this.

“Sleep!”

As I heard that voice, I….

… Huh …

 

ーWhen I woke up, I was wrapped inside a thick futon and tied to a broomstick.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but a clearly nervous and fidgeting Megumin was standing in front of me, her staff at the ready.

“Ka-Kazuma… Everyone’s agreed that theoretically, it should be just within safe limits. I think it checks out, too. There’ll be people waiting for you at the landing point, ready to catch you with wind magic, so…!”

As the other mages nervously watched on, Megumin gulped and started the chant for her Explosion…

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! You are all exceptional mages! Actually, why are you making me fly!?”


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