Putting this sickly illegitimate child at ease!

TL: Cannongerbil

Editing: Ulti, Lord VTP, Uranophane, Keel the Swift

Part 1

With the air of someone who’s been given a very important mission, Aqua said.

“I have to tell everyone… I need to let everyone in the guild know…”

“W-Wait, Aqua, hold on a minute! Let me explain!”

Darkness has a daughter.

“First I should report to the guild lady, then I need to go to the people in Axis Cult, then I’ll visit the grocer, the butcher, the old lady next door…”

“Aqua! Don’t jump to conclusions! Would you take a closer look at this kid first!?!”

Looking at Darkness desperately try to convince Aqua who looks as though she was going to bolt at any moment, my eyes fell upon the girl that was the root of the whole situation.

“…‘Mommy’?”

The girl trembled in shock after hearing my words.

Everyone’s gaze was focused on the girl that so closely resembled Darkness. Probably thinking that’s she’s done something very wrong, the girl in question had an uneasy expression on her face.

As for her age, she looks to be just slightly younger than Megumin’s sister, who was at my house until just a short while ago.

In front of the little girl, Megumin said with the calmest voice she could muster.

“W-W-Well, for a noble, having children at a young age is almost an obligation. But this is great! Her face, hair and eyes are a splitting image of you! I’m sure she’ll grow up to be a very beautiful lady.”

“Megumin, that’s not it! There’s a proper explanation for this, just, please, listen to me!”

Just a while ago.

By completing a whole bunch of quests that have piled up in the guild, we’ve managed to resolve various problems that were plaguing the town.

Additionally, we had also managed to answer Komekko’s exaggerated expectations of Axel’s adventurers that she got from Megumin’s letters. By all rights, we should be going back to our normal everyday lives.

But…

“That’s another one of your fetishes, isn’t it? Still, something like this is no laughing matter…”

“N-n-no, that’s not-”

Despite the undeniable proof of a girl who looks exactly like Darkness standing before her, she still adamantly refused to admit it.

“…Come to think about it, it all makes sense. With a personality like yours, there’s no way you could be a virgin at this age! You slut! Just which thug did you fool around with!?”

“Don’t make me kill you! As if a noble lady get into such a relationship that easily!”

This girl! What is she saying now after almost crossing the line with me so many times?

…Still, the child is innocent.

I squatted before the child and smiled reassuringly.

“What’s your name, young lady?”

“A-Ah, wait, Sylphina, let me-!”

As Darkness frantically tried to stop her, the girl, who has been uneasily fiddling with her fingers, said in a soft voice.

“Dustiness ford Sylphina.”

“How could she be anything other than your daughter?”

“No, she’s my cousin! It’s only natural for cousins to have the same family name!”

Darkness desperately pleaded as she shook me, her face on the verge of tears-

“-Sylphina, these people here are all companions of mine, so you can relax. Here, introduce yourself.”

After we’ve all managed to calm down somewhat, we listened to Darkness’s explanation while drinking the green tea that Megumin brewed.

The girl who has been sitting quietly in the middle of the sofa up till now immediately stood up upon hearing Darkness’s words.

“I’m Sylphina. I’m Mommy’s…Lalatina-sama’s cousin. Nice to meet you.”

After introducing herself, the girl grasped the tips of her skirt and did a proper curtsy.

Her mannerisms contrasted uncannily against her age.

It’s probably due to the education she received as a noble.

“Nice to meet you. My name is Satou Kazuma, I’m a companion of your Mommy and work as an adventurer in this town. You can call me Onii-chan or Daddy.”

“What nonsense are you saying? Sylphina’s father is still alive!”

Sitting on the opposite side of the Dustiness ladies, Megumin and I huddled our heads together to have a whispered discussion.

“Kazuma, Kazuma. What do you think? She looks just like a smaller version of Darkness to me.”

“She has her face, hair, and eyes, but there still something off. If she is really Darkness’s daughter, I’m sure she’d be much more well built.”

“Hey, I can hear you, you know!? I already told you she’s my cousin! The reason why she calls me mommy is because I’ve been looking after her since she was young…!”

Sylphina let out a giggle as she looked upon our antics.

Noticing that, Megumin coughed to regain her composure.

“You’re Sylphina, right? I’m Megumin. As you can see, I’m a Crimson Demon, and Axel’s number one mage.”

“Megumin-sama…”

Perhaps thinking that her usual grandiose self introduction wouldn’t be suitable for a small child, Megumin introduced herself normally.

Sylphina looked awestruck. Perhaps she was curious about the strange naming sense of the crimson demons.

Just as she started wondering if she should treat Megumin’s name seriously or not, Darkness placed a hand on her head.

“Allow me to do a proper introduction. She’s my cousin, Dustiness ford Sylphina. Due to various circumstances, she has moved to this town…”

According to Darkness’s explanation, Sylphina lost her mother at a very young age, so she views Darkness who looked after her since as her mother.

Speaking of whom, Darkness’s mother was the older sister of Sylphina’s mother. Her maternal bloodline had strong magical power and magic resistance, but also weak immune systems. It seems like Sylphina herself is no exception.

On the other hand, Darkness seemed to have inherited both her father’s strong immune system and her mother’s magic resistance, forming the perfect exemplar of the Dustiness family.

“Exemplar?”

“S-Shut up, Kazuma. Do you have a of problem with it? Don’t interrupt my story until I’m done!”

Recently, the Demon King’s army has been extremely active, and it would be a terrible burden for her to respond to repeated emergency evacuations.

Thus, at the invitation of Duke Dustiness, she moved to the safest town in the country, Axel.

And after finding out that Darkness was staying at this mansion, she had come all the way here to play.

“I see, this cover story is quite detailed indeed.”

“Yeah, so far it does seem to hold up quite well.”

“It’s not a cover story! And think about her age! Just how old do I have to be to have a child of this age?”

Looking at Darkness’s agitated form, Sylphina let out another giggle.

And immediately lowered her head once again when she noticed everyone’s gaze.

“S-Sorry. It’s the first time I’ve seen mommy… Lalatina being this happy.”

“I’m not happy! Listen closely, Sylphina, you shouldn’t get too close to this man. It’d be a big problem if you end up being influenced by him like Iris-sama was.”

As she said that, she shuffled Sylphina behind her back, as though she wanted to protect her from me.

“You said your name is Sylphina, right? Your mommy might say that, but she’s barged in on onii-san when he was taking a bath, and even snuck into my bedroom at night…”

“Don’t listen to him, Sylphina! Hey, Megumin, help me say something too!”

Placing both hands on Sylphina’s ears, Darkness looked at Megumin with a pleading gaze.

“He’s not really lying, is he?”

“Me-Megumin!?”

Just then.

Sylphina, who was laughing at our antics this whole time, suddenly broke into a coughing fit.

“Sylphina, did you walk from my parent’s house to this mansion? You shouldn’t push yourself like that. I’ll tell my father, so you should rest here for tonight. Here, lie down on this sofa.”

“Yes, sorry, Mo-Lalatina.”

Looking at the girl who was trying to correct her way of addressing her even while she’s having a coughing fit, Darkness let out a gentle smile.

“Mommy’s fine. But, call me by name if people other than them are present.”

“Okay, Mommy!”

Hearing her words, Sylphina smiled despite looking as though she was still in pain.

It sure is a touching sight…

The two of us looked upon this touching scene…

Suddenly, Darkness stood up like she just thought of something.

“Ah, if it’s too painful, we can get Aqua to cast recovery magic-”

She looked around the room before abruptly pausing..

“…Say. Kazuma, where did Aqua go? I thought it was unusually quiet. When did she disappear?”

I jabbed my thumb towards the main door behind me.

“Oh, she snuck out the door right before you started talking.”

Part 2

Intermediate TLs: lolihunter2 叶子 サダメ

English TL: uranophane

Editing/TL: Cannongerbil

Watching Darkness run into the distance, Sylphina muttered,

“…Mommy left.”

The image of Sylphina sitting on top of the sofa wrapped up in a blanket made her appear as if she was a unfortunate child from a dysfunctional family. I can’t help but feel sympathetic to her.

“Leaving a small child here all alone… Just what is she thinking…”

“…Sylphina, right? Darkness will probably come back soon, so why don’t you play a game with us while we wait?”

Probably accustomed to dealing with children thanks to Komekko, Megumin gently smiled at Sylphina.

“Sure!”

With a slightly worried expression, Sylphina put on a weak smile–

“–I’m back.”

Said Megumin as she came through the door.

“Welcome home, my dear husband. How’s the situation outside the town?”

Sylphina said with a smile, still wrapped up in her blanket.

As you may have guessed, we are currently playing ‘house’.

“The situation outside the town? Well, there were more than 20 dragons flying about, so I thought I might as well get rid of them. Doesn’t even count as warm-up, really.”

Hearing what ‘father Megumin’ said, Sylphina, the ‘mother’, turned to me and said,

“Hear that, Kazuma? When you grow up, you have to be as great as your father!”

That’s right, I acted as their son.

I had set up the scenario to have a very powerful adventurer as the father.

By all rights, I should’ve been the one to play the role of the father, and Megumin would be playing the mother, but…

“I don’t want to be something as dangerous as an adventurer. I would rather become a merchant who deals with other people and get rich that way. I don’t want to do anything that will risk my life.”

“Eh?”

Sylphina exclaimed in shock, clearly not expecting it.

“Y-you can’t do that, Kazuma! What are you saying!? You have the blood of the legendary hero! There are still people who are suffering because of the Demon King! As your mother, I won’t allow you to do that! Darling, please help me talk some sense into him!”

Oh, so now I’m the descendant of a legendary warrior?

Sylphina gave Megumin a troubled expression, pleading for her help.

“Well, calm down, Sylphina. That is indeed a more realistic outlook on our future. Even though he’s talented in combat, as a parent, I still wouldn’t want my child to place himself in danger. Isn’t it fine as long as our son lives a happy life?”

Hearing Megumin say something so reasonable for once, Sylphina nodded, though she still looked somewhat uncertain.

“W-well, that makes sense… Then, Kazuma, you should aim to make it big as a merchant, then use your wealth to support the other less fortunate heroes.”

This is probably also due to her aristocratic education. She might be young, but Sylphina still set an admirably righteous goal for me.

However…

“I would rather use the profit and connections to entice some less intelligent noble ladies to gain power and status. Then I’d enjoy a leisurely lifestyle while basking in the veneration of the people.”

“Darling, Kazuma…he—! Our son is turning into a delinquent!”

“Calm down, Sylphina, that kid has always been like this… However, Kazuma, tricking noble ladies isn’t something you should do. As a commoner, the massive difference in status will definitely prevent you from establishing a truly loving relationship. Thus, you should rather look to marry a capable, easygoing and intelligent yet impoverished girl.”

Why does it sound like you got some wires crossed in there?

“You heard what your daddy said, right Kazuma!? Letting your daddy down is very not okay!”

Saying that, Sylphina patted my head from the sofa.

Watching me get lectured by a young child, Megumin turned around and started trembling.

She seems to be trying to hold back her laughter.

“In that case, I want to sleep with daddy tonight. I want him to tell me his adventurer stories until I fall asleep.”

“Eh?”

Megumin was dumbstruck by my sudden comeback. Sylphina clapped her hands as if agreeing to my suggestion.

“That sounds like a great idea. Darling, go sleep with our son tonight and teach him the ins and outs of being an adventurer. I’ll be sleeping with mommy-…Lalatina-sama tonight.”

Sylphina said as she smiled expectantly.

It seems like she was searching for an excuse to sleep with Darkness.

Seeing her sit wrapped in a blanket all the way up to her neck, a radiant smile on her face, I couldn’t help but start wondering if I really am a Lolicon after all.

No, what I’m feeling now is fatherly instinct. It’s definitely not anything indecent.

It seems like Megumin had similar thoughts to me, before I realized it, she’s started petting Sylphina on the head

Looking down at the confused Sylphina, Megumin whispered,

“Having a child doesn’t seem so bad.”

Moments after she said that, Megumin regained her senses and gave me a dismissive wave.

“Don’t take what I just said the wrong way, I was just saying that creating a successor to my ultimately mortal flesh isn’t a bad idea…”

As if noticing how uncharacteristic her exclamation was, she desperately tried to cover it up by playing on her chuunibyou.

“If you want children, I’m ready to help you anytime you want.”

“What kind of horrible things are you saying in front of a child!?”

Part 3

That night.

“Sylphina, I heard they played with you today? What did you guys play?”

Having returned much later with Aqua in tow, Darkness gently asked as she ate her grilled frog with her fork.

“Yes, these two played ‘house’ with me.”

Sylphina smiled brightly upon hearing Darkness’ voice as she battled the frog meat, seemingly still unused to the local cuisine of Axel..

While watching the duo who seemed to be more like sisters than mother and daughter–

“So, what did you do?”

–I interrogated Aqua who was kneeling on the floor as she reflected upon herself.

Aqua launched into a tirade as if she’s been waiting for me to ask this question.

“Listen to this, Kazuma! I was just spreading the news at the guild and other places, and then Darkness got angry beyond belief! I was caught and brutalized by Darkness to the point where I had to use heal on myself, then she threatened to use the power of her family to forbid all the liquor stores in the town from selling alcohol to me. I was only speaking the truth! Don’t you think she’s going too far!?”

“How about you consider how I feel when I’m greeted with ‘congratulations for having a child’ every time I enter the guild!? The feeling when I get teased by the drunkards and having to let the guild staff speak up for me! And they even asked me who the child’s father is…”

Hearing that, Sylphina lowered her head in sympathy.

“It’s all because of me, sorry Mommy… It’s been such a long time, so I just got excited and…”

“Ah, it’s not your fault, Sylphina! I like children very much and never thought of you as a hassle! It’s just because they were ridiculing me and betting on who the father was…”

Then, Darkness inexplicably glared at me.

“Kazuma got the most votes, second place being the bear-esque noble guy who disappeared to nowhere. Who was next again? Right, that blonde delinquent whose name I can’t recall was next!”

“It’s a little awkward to be saying this myself, but isn’t that list full of nothing but strange men?

“Shut it! I don’t want to hear that from you!”

–After dinner, everyone surrounded Sylphina to talk about their adventures. Aqua even let Sylphina play with her treasured gaming console. Together, we shared a peaceful and joyous moment…

Afterwards, as I played with the console I confiscated from Aqua, I heard a knock on my door.

“Kazuma, are you still awake? Can I come in?”

Megumin’s seemingly nervous voice came from behind the door.

“Sure, I’m awake, but I don’t really want to let you in. After all, the only reason you come here at this time is to play with my emotions and get my hopes up before leaving me with blue balls.”

“The hell? Don’t make me sound like some sort manipulative bitch! I never tried to play with your emotions!”

Well, then you’re one hell of a temptress.

From under the blanket, I briefly put down my controller and glanced at Megumin through the door crack.

“So, what is up? Do you want me to keep you company while you sleep?”

I said sarcastically as I shifted my attention back to the game–

“Indeed, I want to sleep with you tonight.”

Hearing Megumin say such things so casually, I couldn’t help but be petrified.

And the character Aqua had raised through countless days of hard work got shredded to pieces by monsters.

Part 4

“Look, I won’t fall for the same trick again. I’m not like Aqua who never learns from experience. Don’t think I’ll just dumbly fall for your honeyed words just because I’m a teenage virgin.”

That’s right, I still have my beloved succubus-san for that.

I might have suffered a sleepless night yesterday after what she said about becoming more than friends but less than lovers, but I won’t always be that stupid.

After succumbing to the same trick so many times, there’s no way I would fall for it yet again.

“What are you talking about? Weren’t you the one who wanted to sleep with me tonight? Did you forget about what you said while we were playing with Sylphina?”

In response to Megumin’s exasperated words, I threw away the game console.

I said that.

That’s right, I did say that, I definitely did say that!

…No, wait a second. It’s not time to panic just yet!

“Wh-what? Why are you so guarded? You too have been sending me all kinds of signals lately, so what are you making such a fuss for?”

Sounding somewhat confused, Megumin took a couple of steps closer as she said that.

“I’m not making a fuss. I’m just frustrated about being that typical male protagonist from a low-quality romcom who always gets cut-off mid development. That’s what making me angry. I’m at my most active age, you know? What do you and Darkness find so fun about teasing an innocent virgin guy like me? You should know that it’s really painful for a guy to get into that kind of mood only for nothing to happen.”

“Er, well, personally, I just wanted to convey my feelings and deepen our relationship. I didn’t know that it would cause you pain. I-I apologize for that…”

Seeing my sudden outburst, Megumin broke out into cold sweat and pieced together an apology despite her confusion.

“If you understand that, then leave. All thanks to you saying such strange things, the character that Aqua treats like her son ended up dying. If I don’t hurry up and make it back to where she was by tonight, she’ll start screeching tomorrow morning.”

“No, wait a second, I really have important things to say to you tonight, please don’t chase me away! Actually, if you keep treating me as less important than a game, I will really become angry!”

Facing Megumin’s persistent demeanor, I pushed myself off the bed to look at her.

“What? I don’t really care about sleeping together or spending the night together anymore. I’d get all flustered and excited, and it’d end up being little more than a prolonged mental torture session for a young man like me. I’d rather sleep alone than be blue-balled at the last moment again.”

“…Sure, it’s my fault to leave you hanging after getting your hopes up, but I really didn’t expect you to make such a big fuss over it…. No, okay, let’s put aside the issue of sleeping together for now. Can we just chat for a while?”

……

“Well, that’d be kind of a waste, and also be kind of lonely…”

“You really are troublesome, Kazuma! Anyway, I’m letting myself in!”

Megumin closed the door behind her as she stepped in, and without another word, moved to sit on my bed.

Full of spirit just a while ago, Megumin now stared at the ground and fell silent.

She seems to be trying to say something, and her face gradually turned red…

“Hey, cut it out! Why are you blushing like that? If you have something to say, then just spit it out! Why do you people keep insisting on doing things that are bad for my heart? It really makes me feel really uncomfortable, you know!?”

“H-hold on, don’t rush me like that! We gotta start with small talk, don’t we? There’s a lot we can talk about. Let’s not rush things, we can start with a normal conversation and go from there!”

With her whole face bright red, Megumin blurted out without even lifting her head.

“What are you playing at!? Coming to another person’s bedroom this late at night, then asking to make small talk with them!?”

Perhaps realizing how stupid she sounded, Megumin’s eyes started glowing red,

“Er-Oh, right! What actually happened between you and Iris? Even though we didn’t bother clearing it up because of Komekko’s arrival, I’m still really concerned about what made you throw us aside to stay at the capital.”

Dammit, dragging up those ancient topics that I tried so hard to bury.

At the time, I said that I couldn’t remember the details due to the lingering effects of the potion and didn’t tell the entire story…

“That’s just, you know, the person I’ve always regarded as my sister, Iris, cried and hung on to me and just won’t let me leave. She even said ‘I like onii-chan so much’ with teary eyes, and stuff like ‘I love onii-chan’ and ‘Iris will die if onii-chan doesn’t stay at the capital’, so even someone as heartless as me was touched.”

“Why is this man still so weak willed? Also, did she really say things like loving you and dying if you didn’t stay?”

The memory erasing potion might have caused my brain to add in a few details, but that’s about how it played out.

….Wait.

“AAHHHHHHH, CRAAAAAAP!”

I suddenly remembered something and violently shot up from my bed.

“Wh-why are you doing all of a sudden? Don’t make such loud noises this late at night!! What if someone comes to check!?”

“No, Iris! I forgot about Iris! Before I was force-fed the memory wiping potion, Iris told me to write her a letter when I remembered her. She said she’ll keep waiting!”

Crap, I have to send this as soon as possible.

Iris may very well end up losing hope for this world and end up doing something unthinkable.

I hurried to the desk and prepared to write–

“Hold on a moment.”

Megumin tugged on my shirt from the bed.

“What is it? I remembered something important thanks to your small talk. It’s urgent, so don’t get in my way.”

“There’s literally a young girl in your bedroom right now, and you’re writing a letter to another girl right in front of her? You really are amazing, aren’t you? By the way, um…”

Still holding onto my shirt, Megumin raised her head and asked resolutely,

“Do you still remember what I said last night?”

Her eyes glowed at an intensity I’ve never witnessed before, matching her face which was beet red all the way to her ears.

“The thing about being between friends and lovers?”

There’s no way I could forget that.

Because of what she said, I basically got no sleep that night.

Hearing my tense response, Megumin nodded, her face still as red as it was before.

“Indeed, that. My wish to be more than friends but less than lovers. I’ve come to hear your answer tonight.”

…Eh?

“Was that supposed to be a confession last night? When I saw you leave without hearing what I had to say, I thought you were just up to your usual temptress tricks and setting me up to be blue-balled again.”

“Just what kind of girl do you see me as, Kazuma? I’d never play with anyone’s emotions like that!”

If you want to say that, then stop teasing me with such words and skinship before leaving me high and dry.

“So, what’s your answer?”

Saying that, Megumin brought her glowing eyes closer…!

“Hey, you’re too close! Your face is too close—Eh, wait, so, I were to say ‘let’s go out’, would be officially be in a relationship? In the first place, what exactly did you mean by ‘more than friends but less than lovers’? Wouldn’t we be better off as a straight-up, ordinary couple? Why do we have to be so fuzzy about that? Isn’t it the most important bit!?”

“No, if we were to just straight up become lovers, well, think about it, wouldn’t we have trouble knowing how to act in front of everyone? Rather than just charge straight into this, I think we should take this more slowly, step-by-step, inch-by-inch…”

Perhaps only just realizing how embarrassing her words were, Megumin suddenly started fidgeting bashfully.

“Why are you acting like such a maiden? You’re giving me goosebumps, stop!”

“I am a maiden! Be it in age or otherwise, I’m a proper maiden! Just how have you been seeing me up till now!?”

She’s always been overly direct about such matters, so her new attitude took me by complete surprise.

“…Could you be getting a little desperate? I don’t think it’s very likely, but you’re not developing some kind of yandere complex towards Iris, are you? Calm down and think about it, even I’m not trashy enough to make moves on such a young girl.”

“You have quite the gall to say that after abandoning us to stay at the capital. Yeah, I am getting desperate. I’m only able to say this right now because I am calm. When you first told us that you weren’t coming back, I nearly burst into tears. I can’t say this enough, please don’t make me worry like that.”

In response to her rising tensions, the glow in her eyes increased in intensity.

I’ve seen her eyes glow many times before, but I’ve never seen them in such a vibrant shade of red.

“And I’m very well aware that I’m a crappy Archwizard. So if a more sensible and more powerful girl who shares much of my traits were to show up…!”

As she spoke, Megumin irately clutched at my collar.

Crap, that’s the offensive shade of red!

“I-I get it! I was in the wrong! That was all my fault, so I apologize! I’m sorry!”

Even after hearing my apology, the brilliant crimson glow from Megumin did not diminish in the slightest.

“So, do you or do you not wish to become more than friends but less than lovers with me?”

Megumin said with a completely serious—and slightly angry—face.

What is up with that? Has there ever been a confession as unromantic as this in history?

Rather than a confession, Megumin’s tone suggested more of a threat. She kept bringing her face closer.

Before I can answer, I must confirm something.

“When you say ‘between friends but less than a couple’, how far can we go? Think about it, isn’t it too broad? You get what I mean?”

Hearing my words, Megumin lowered her head red-faced.

“I know, I know, alright? Come to think of it, we haven’t really done that sort of thing yet, have we? Very well, let’s do it then. It’s too late tonight, so how about tomorrow morning?”

It’s too late tonight?

Tomorrow morning?

“Wait, isn’t that sort of thing usually done late at night?”

“…Hold on Kazuma, I think we’re thinking about different things. What exactly are you asking about? I think we’ve had a similar problem in the past before, so why don’t we say what we are thinking at the count of three?.”

One, two…

“Make children.”

“Go on a date.”

I see. Yeah, come to think of it, we haven’t ever gone on a proper date before.

“Hey.”

Facing Megumin’s slowly souring expression, I hammered my palm as if everything finally made sense–

“Yeah, we haven’t gone on a proper date yet. It would be problematic if we were to skip that step and went straight to lovers…”

“Making babies!? Well alright, not that I’m agreeing with what mom said yesterday, but as long as you are willing to take responsibility… Being forced into getting married due to me being pregnant does indeed sound more fitting for us…”

Megumin made an expression akin to that of Archimedes during his Eureka moment and said with a sigh.

“…Hearing the term ‘wedding’ makes me a little anxious. I wonder why…”

“Wait a second, when you tried to cross that line with me in that hotel room awhile ago, didn’t you say that you loved me too!?”

Now that she mentioned it, I do remember something like that happening.

At the time I was mesmerized by Megumin’s seduction, and talked about some parenting-related matters while embracing her.

“That and this is completely different. Because of what you told me, various issues kept me awake last night, so after playing with Sylphina, I went out and paid a special fee for a nap.”

“What do naps have to do with you said just now? I don’t follow at all!”

Boys experience something known as sage mode.

My name is Satou Kazuma.

Right now, I’m a man who won’t easily be influenced by beauty or emotions into accepting such heavy responsibilities.

“Megumin, how old are you this year? You’re about to turn 15, right? So I think that, rather than a ‘make children, get married’ approach, we should start with more regular interactions. Let’s properly think about this, both of us haven’t even gone on a date before, right? So if we were to suddenly have children and have a sudden wedding, it’d end terribly for both us and our offspring.”

“You were the one who brought up babymaking in the first place!”

Megumin said agitatedly.

“No, wait, seriously, think about it. Now that I think about it, we still don’t know very much about each other, do we? Come on, Megumin, didn’t you keep saying that you are a proper adult? I love you, so let’s make babies and get married isn’t a very mature idea by any standard.”

“That’s only because you brought it up! Really, what’s wrong with you? Weren’t you all for this, Kazuma!? You’re strange enough already, but today you’re particularly…!”

Then, after seeing me keep my cool even in this situation, Megumin seems to have figured out what’s happening in my head

The blush slowly vanished from her face as she looked at me with…

The same look that she gives me when she catches me staring at Darkness walking through the mansion in a nightgown, the one of utter disrespect.

“What should I do with this man …? Acting distant the moment the topic switches away from sex. I didn’t expect you to be this far gone… After going that far with me, after all those things you did with me to advance our relationship to such a heated level, was that all so you could have sex!? How could you turn ice cold as soon as your hopes of reproducing are crushed…!”

“Hey, hold it, you! We have merely bathed together, slept together and hugged. Don’t put it like that! If you’re going to describe it that, then why don’t I actually do something worthy of being treated like such”

“If you are going to keep talking about meaningless stuff like that, then I’m prepared to do what I must.”

Ouch, that look. As if staring at trash.

Finally, Megumin deeply exhaled and said,

“You always were this kind of person, weren’t you? Even knowing that, I still can’t bring myself to hate you. Just how simple a woman could I be…”

Even as she said that, Megumin’s face was still stern as ever. Though that gaze of hers has downgraded from “looking at trash” to “looking at a suspicious item.”

“Er, well… Since the atmosphere for confessing is long gone, what should we do from now?”

Megumin let the tension bleed from her shoulders and sat motionless, staring at me as if waiting for my response.

But, even if you ask me ‘what should we do from now on’…

To be honest, though I’ve been together with Megumin and the others for a long time, I never really thought about whose route I would go down. In the first place, I still don’t truly understand my own emotions.

Never mind dating, I don’t even have much contact with the opposite sex before this. What is love? What does it mean to pine for someone? Those kind of things are all…

… … … …

Eh?

What’s going on? I just casually tried to imagine the future…

I used to think that suddenly marrying and having a child to take care of would be devastating, but when I mentally placed Megumin in the co-pilot’s seat, I suddenly couldn’t care less about all those burdens.

Even now, where there’s still a whole bunch of loose ends that have yet to be addressed, I’m still wholeheartedly looking forward to going on a date and such with Megumin.

Going out and spending time casually chatting the day away, and me going “Hey Megumin, since we’ve some free time, why don’t we pack a lunch, find a pretty lake somewhere and make some waves with explosion?”

…eh?

What’s happening?

What the hell is this?

“Hey, hey Megumin, this is bad! I might actually be in love with you!”

“You’re trash! You really are trash! Totally, absolutely, completely trash! ‘Might actually be in love with me’!? Was that supposed to be a confession!? Couldn’t you pick your words a little more carefully!?”

You shouldn’t expect that much from a virgin.

I was breaking out in cold sweat and mentally kicking myself right now.

Seeing my troubled expression, Megumin said to me,

“…Sigh. You really are someone who always messes up when it matters the most. Really… Well, I did say that I like that unpredictable side of yours, so I can’t get angry even if I wanted to…”

Megumin sounded defeated, but at the same time I could see just the barest hint of amusement in her eyes.

I started to relax after seeing her face, only to have her shoot me a deathly glare the moment I heaved a breath.

S-sorry!

“…So, what should we do in the future? Well… Uh… About our relationship… After today…”

Megumin said with a slightly anxious expression.

Her face is just a little flushed and her voice is low.

Er…

“Wh-what should we do? Well, to be honest, I’ve never experienced something this amazing in my life. If you suddenly ask me about what to do when dating a girl, I wouldn’t have a clue. So, if our relationship is really that which is more than friends but lesser than lovers, I guess I wouldn’t need to get all panicky. I’m honestly overjoyed. You might have some strange quirks, but you still are a beautiful girl after all… So um, I’d say… a relationship like that is…alright…-ish?”

Hearing my response,

“…O-okay then… Let’s leave it at that for now……P-plus, this way, it wouldn’t be too awkward for the others…”

Seemingly blushing from being called ‘beautiful’, Megumin breathed a sigh of relief and quietly said.

Watching her act like this, I inexplicably started feeling shy, too.

What the hell, we’re like a stereotypical awkward couple right now.

Crap, this is really bad. It’s a refreshing and sweet feeling that makes my heart race!

Oh, right, how should we break this to Darkness and Aqua?

Do we tell them?

How will things progress in the future?

More than friends but less than a couple…

Does that mean that it would be okay for us to act like lovers?

And how far are we allowed to act like lovers? Where is the line…?

Just as I worried over those details, Megumin said to me,

“Right, then, before we officially become lovers, it would be best to keep this a secret from Aqua and Darkness… And obviously, for the sake of keeping it discreet, we should put off any mature activities for now…”

“Eh?”

END OF CHAPTER 1

Prologue and splash pages (Yun’s site)

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