Putting a stop to this malicious scheme!

TL: Skythewood

Editing: Adam, Cannongerbil, Xenthur

Part 1

In the capital that was shrouded by darkness, Chris and I headed toward the castle.

According to her, infiltrating the castle by cover of night would be the best course of action.

After achieving overwhelming victory against the Demon King’s army, the guards would be more relaxed about their duties.

“Hey, what do you have there? It looks cool. Where’d you get it from?”

Chris, her mouth covered with a black cloth, said as she looked at me.

“This was given to me by a suspicious clerk working in a certain magic item shop in Axel. I heard that it’s a top seller.”

To avoid exposing my identity, I put on the mask Vanir gave me.

“Hmm~ I want one too, what kind of person is that suspicious clerk?”

“What kind…? … He works diligently in chasing the noisy crows away from the trash area, known in the neighborhood as ‘Crow-Slayer Vanir-san’…”

“Hmm~ Isn’t he a really earnest guy? I want to meet him!”

I wonder what would happen if they really got to meet.

Or rather, nothing good would come of letting a devout Eris believer meet with that devil.

Our objective was to infiltrate the castle and grab Iris’s necklace.

Since I was born, aside from sexual harassment, I’d only committed minor misdemeanors like public urination and jaywalking. This was the first time I was doing something like a real ‘criminal,’ which made me nervous.

I didn’t want to hurt others and didn’t have the guts to do so either, so I left my katana in the inn.

To lessen the load if I needed to run, I didn’t even wear a chest plate and chose dark clothes that’d allow for me to blend into the night.

Bow and arrows can be used in all sorts of scenarios, so I brought them along…

Chris stopped and looked up at the castle wall that towered over us.

“Well then, are you ready, minion?”

“Any time, lady boss.”

“……”

“Hey, don’t call me lady boss.”

“Then don’t call me a minion! And why’s my position lower than yours?”

We hid in the shadows of the building and argued quietly.

“Because my job’s a Thief, I’m the professional here. Your job’s Adventurer, right?”

“That’s true, but since I have Farsight that gives me night vision, I’m more suited for burglary. I should be the boss in terms of ability, right?”

We couldn’t address each other by our real names inside the castle either.

And so, we debated on how to address each other…

“But, but, the one renowned as the chivalrous thief in the capital is me, okay? There’s no end to this, let’s just settle it in a simple match!”

“Match, huh? Well then– Luck’s necessary for thieves, so let’s play-rock paper-scissors.”

My only strong point was my excellent luck.

Chris probably didn’t know about my stats.

“Rock-paper-scissors? All right, let’s do this! Now that you mention it, I lost when we competed with Steal last time, so today I’ll avenge myself.”

“Hehe, you’ve been tricked, Chris! I’ve never lost in rock-paper-scissors before! Okay, rock…!

 

“– Let’s think of a way to sneak in, Assistant-kun.”

“You’re right, Big Boss. And I didn’t become a NEET in the castle for nothing. When I got bored and wandered around the castle, I figured out its rough layout. I’ll lead the way.”

I lost in rock-paper-scissors for the first time in my life.

As expected of a devotee of the goddess of fortune, Eris. Her luck was really good.

After we came to a consensus, we nailed down how we should address each other.

Avoiding the guarded main gate, we went around to the side walls of the castle.

“Assistant-kun, are you planning to break in through here? The walls are really tall, looks at least three stories high… I can’t do anything with this…”

Before Chris even finished, I took out my archery tools.

“Snipe.”

This was the arrow with a hook in front and ropes trailing behind it, used during the battle with the Destroyer.

After aiming with my skill before shooting the arrow, it accurately hooked onto the edge of the castle wall.

I tugged on the rope to make sure it was secure. Chris opened her mouth wide in surprise.

“Assistant-kun’s really useful. Forget about being an adventurer, you should form a chivalrous thieving group that focuses on punishing the evil nobles together with me.”

“If my money runs out and I’ve got nothing better to do, I’ll consider it… All right, let’s go!”

 

Part 2

It should be about one or two hours after midnight.

The castle lights were off and everyone seems to be fast asleep.

“From now on, it’d be best if I walk in front. I’ll use my night vision and move slowly, so you just need to follow behind me, Big Boss.”

“Understood, Assistant-kun.”

We were in the courtyard of the castle right now.

Our goal was the top level– Iris’ room.

Walking toward the door into the castle from the courtyard, I met the first obstacle.

“Bad news, Big Boss. The door’s locked.”

“It’s my turn, time for my lock picking skills to shine.”

Chris squatted in front of the door, took out two ear-pick like objects, and started fiddling with the keyhole.

With a click, the door was opened effortlessly.

As expected of a professional. If I ever have any spare skill points, I’ll learn this skill.

After successfully getting inside the castle, we continued moving in the dark.

With me leading the way of course, and Chris behind.

We had yet to run into patrolling guards so far.

To think that things would go so smoothly if the jinx Aqua wasn’t around.

“Oh, someone’s coming. Enemy Detection is giving off a reading.”

“Hide in that corner, don’t forget to activate Lurk.”

We hid in the shadows as the footsteps of a guard drew near.

Probably the guard doing patrols.

“Hey, Assistant-kun, do you have to stick so close? We already used Lurk, so you don’t need to work so hard not to be discovered, right?”

“It’s not good to underestimate the enemy, Big Boss. Here, stick closer, quick!”

“Assistant-kun, this is too close!”

“Big Boss, this is for the sake of retrieving the divine relic and world peace. Please bear with it!”

While we were arguing softly, the patrolling guard stopped.

“… Is someone there?”

He asked and shone his light this way, but thanks to Lurk, we weren’t discovered.

“Just my imagination…”

After seeing the guard leave, we sighed in relief.

“Really, that’s why I’m telling you that underestimating the enemy isn’t good. If I didn’t handle it carefully, we would’ve been in trouble.”

“No, no, no, it’s all because of you that I made some noise which attracted the guard’s attention! If you sexually harass me again, you’ll suffer divine punishment from the goddess Eris.”

Oh no, speaking of which, Eris-sama was still watching me.

It was true that I’d been acting too true to my desires recently.

It’d be a good idea to watch myself.

 

– Moving through the vast castle, we reached the stairs leading to the second floor.

Iris’s room was at the top most level.

“Hey Assistant-kun, if possible, I’d like to take a look in the treasure vault. Like I said, both divine relics are in the capital, so the one that can control monsters might be here. The only places with such an acute treasure presence are Alderp’s mansion and this castle.”

The reaction from Alderp’s mansion was definitely Aqua’s hagoromo, which meant the remaining divine relic was inside this castle.

“The treasure vault is on the second floor. We’ll reach it in no time after climbing up the stairs. But there are powerful barriers and probably traps…

“That isn’t a problem, I came prepared.”

We headed up the stairs and toward the vault.

At the entrance of the vault, we discovered a powerful barrier that even I could sense with my minute magical prowess.

The only ones who could undo this barrier would probably be those at Aqua’s level.

Chris took out a certain magic item at this moment.

“This is a tool that only the demon race possesses, called Barrier Killer. Apparently, the Crimson Demons were selling it… I don’t know how they got them, but I managed to ‘borrow’ this from a noble who bought it.”

Barrier Killer?

I heard that term somewhere before.

Or rather, I found the shape familiar, where did I… Never mind.

Chris meddled with the magic item for a while, and with a pop, the barrier was easily dispelled.

“Amazing, now we just need to watch out for the traps.”

“That’s right. For us who have skills to detect and disarm traps, this is a piece of cake.”

I took out my lighter and lit it to observe the surrounding.

The vault was illuminated and all sorts of neatly arranged treasures appeared before us.

“Oops, there’s a trap here. The alarm will ring if you take this treasure with you. If the target divine relic isn’t here, don’t touch the goods.”

After hearing her words, I nodded and started searching together with her.

That might be so, but I had no idea what the monster summoning divine relic looked like, and had to rely on Chris and her treasure detection skill.

What I could do was keep an eye out and admire the treasures here.

… Just then, I noticed something.

“Assistant-kun, the thing we’re looking for isn’t here. There are many powerful magic items, but nothing at the level of the divine relic… Assistant-kun?”

That was something that didn’t fit in with this treasure vault.

Something I was very familiar with.

“Isn’t this a manga…?”

The thing before me should be a manga from Japan.

Chris probably thought about something after seeing my nostalgic expression, and watched me silently.

“Um… If you take that away…”

Chris was hesitant to speak, but I got what she meant.

“I’m fine, it’s just a book from back home. I’m just feeling a little nostalgic.”

For some reason, Chris looked a little guilty after hearing what I said.

“Don’t be sad for me. And I bought that manga before, so…”

While I was speaking, my gaze shifted to the other book beside the manga.

… It was a peerless treasure.

You’d be arrested just by holding that book in Japan– That’s how valuable it was.

“… Let’s go then, Assistant-kun… Oh right! After sealing the divine relics away, I’ll collect a bunch of books from your country and give them to you, so…”

As Chris was saying something sentimental, I grabbed that treasure without hesitation!

“Assistant-kun–!!”

 

“– Over there, the intruders went that way!”

“There are two of them! We don’t know what their goal is, but we can’t let them roam free!”

The guards shouted while Chris and I ran with all our might.

“Damn, what a formidable trap! It even got me…!”

“Assistant-kun, I need to have a good talk about life with you later! You’re living too unrestrainedly!”

“Big Boss, now’s not the time for banter! We need to overcome this little problem!”

“That may be so, but you’ve no right to say that!”

All the lights in the castle were lit, and everyone had been awoken by the alarm from the vault.

“Create Water! And Freeze!”

The corridor we ran past was covered in ice.

Screams and curses came from behind.

“Having Assistant-kun around is really convenient.”

“Don’t just say that Big Boss, help me!”

Chris, who was chiding me as she ran by my side, showed me a thumbs up.

“Okay, I’ll show you the ability of the Big Boss!”

While she was saying that, she turned behind and took something out of her pocket.

It was a thin metallic wire.

“Wire Trap!”

Chris shouted and threw out the wire.

The moment the wire touched the walls along the corridor, it became as taut as a steel bar.

It was like a spider web.

Even a small person wouldn’t be able to get through that web easily.

“This is just to buy time, but it’s enough for us to escape! Assistant-kun, we can’t complete the mission after drawing everyone’s attention like this, let’s withdraw for now!”

Chris said as she drew the dagger on her waist, forced open a window, and looked around– She was probably looking for an escape route.

“No, wait, I want to settle things today! I’ll be chased out of the capital tomorrow!”

Chris frowned when she heard what I said and seemed troubled.

“E-Even if you say that… If we, a Thief and Adventurer duo, were to fight with others head on, we’ll be nabbed easily! And since when were you so determined to fight?”

That brought me back to my senses.

In the first place, why was I working so desperately?

I wasn’t a hot blooded character and definitely wasn’t a summoned hero who was chosen.

Calm down, I am a rational man.

That’s right, once I return to Axel, I’d be able to enjoy my life every day.

Stop struggling and run away, live a carefree life back in my home–

No matter how much I tried to convince myself, the times I spent with Iris appeared before my eyes like a movie.

Iris who was moody after I bullied her.

Iris who listened with sparkling eyes as I recounted the tale about purifying the lich in the dungeon.

After being instigated by me, Iris stole snacks from the dining hall and was warned by Claire in the end. Even though she felt guilty, even though she was scolded together with me, Iris looked a little happy.

The angry Iris who came to get back at me after she arrogantly told her vassals some nonsense I made up and became a laughing stock.

Finally, Iris who answered this to my question–

‘This is the first time I’ve met someone like you. Everyone keeps on their toes around me and showers me with concern. Only one person was lofty, rude, merciless, and taught all sorts of weird things to me. Even though I’m royalty, he even went all out to compete with me without any semblance of acting like an adult…’

‘I asked you to tell me what you liked about me.’

‘But I am listing out the reasons I like you.’

But that kid likes me the way I am.

– I didn’t understand why I wanted to stay with her so much.

Or why she sticks so close to me.

No matter what, Iris will become a more mature princess a few years later.

She won’t want to meet a suspicious man with such a large difference in status by then.

No, from the moment I leave the capital, our ties will disappear.

Thinking about it this way, this was the last night I’ll be looked up to like an elder brother.

“Assistant-kun, let’s withdraw! Even if you want to return to Axel–though it’d waste some time– I’ll help you out!”

However, that was why…

“Big Boss, I…”

I’d been dragged into troublesome matters one after another.

But I couldn’t wait for next time.

Not for tomorrow.

That’s right–

“I’ll show you my true ability.”

“… Assistant-kun?”

“– We cut through the web! The thieves are… They’re still here, they didn’t escape!”

The guards cut through the web, blocking the way and leaving us with no cover.

“Thieves, I’ll make you all regret breaking into the royal castle! Just leave one of them alive to interrogate!”

A man who looked like their captain drew the sword on his waist and said some scary words.

The guard blocking our way and watching our every move said:

“Captain, one of them has a dagger, the other’s unarmed. Let’s capture the weaker looking one who doesn’t have any weapons!”

The man who was addressed as captain nodded.

“Hmm, the silver haired one does seem stronger. All right, don’t hold back against the silver hair! The two of us should be enough to take on that masked weakling!”

– What was with me tonight?

Did I make up my mind to go all out?

“The opponent’s a suspicious thief, don’t show any mercy!”

I was in top condition.

“The two of them aren’t moving… Hey, intruders! This is your chance to surrender! You might get to keep your life! Now, just give up…”

I didn’t know why, but my condition tonight was excellent.

– The man known as captain took a stance with his sword against me.

“…”

Seeing me stretch out my hand quietly, he lowered his sword.

“Oh? You want to surrender? Okay, that silver haired guy over there, put down your weapon too! Then you can keep your- AAAH!?

The moment he touched my hand, the captain screamed and fell to the ground trembling.

“What–?”

Everyone present gasped in shock, including Chris.

The one known as the captain did have great stamina.

But aside from Darkness, whose physical power could rival a monster, no one could withstand my Drain Touch when I was in pristine condition.

“W-What did this guy do–?”

Seeing their captain down on the floor, all the guards took a step back.

At this moment, I–!

“Hahaha! Great! This feels awesome! Power is welling up from within me– I don’t know why, but I’ll let you witness my true prowess tonight!”

“A-Assistant-kun? You’re acting really strange! What happened?”

I charged at the guards–!

 

Part 3

“Big Boss! Just turn right around that corner and we’ll see the stairs to the topmost level!”

“All right, I-I got it! B-By the way Assistant-kun, you feel different from usual… Even your tone’s weird, what happened?”

I ran side by side with Chris, with curses coming from behind just like before.

However, the content was a bit different than earlier…

“Thieves! Strong thieves have infiltrated the castle! Get those elite adventurers up, quickly!”

“Listen up! Don’t attack recklessly! The opponent’s skilled, but it seems that he doesn’t plan to kill anyone! Even so, don’t act rashly!”

“Knight commander! Please evacuate to the safe zone!!”

“B-But we can’t let that masked man go any further…!”

As I started getting into my groove, the guards showed incredible fear.

Oh, enemy ahead!

“Get out of the way, the Silver Haired Thieving Group’s coming through! If you don’t want to get hurt, make way!”

“Assistant-kun, when did we decide on that name? Things have blown up, so you can be the leader, change it to Masked Thieving Group or something, quick…”

I raised my hand toward the sword-wielding guard before me…!

“Wind Breath!”

“Ughh! Damn, always using such tricks… AAAH~!”

I blew the dirt in my hand over with wind magic.

And then grabbed the hand of the blinded guard and used Drain Touch while pressing his weapon down.

I immobilized the opponent in a couple of seconds and said nonchalantly:

“Masked Thieving Group’s no good. It sounds as if I’m the mastermind, I don’t like it.”

“I don’t want to be the mastermind! I didn’t want to make a ruckus and attract so much attention! If things go badly, I’ll be targeted just because I have silver hair! And what’s that technique you just used?”

I couldn’t tell her straight that I could use the skills of a lich.

“This is my certain kill technique, so I can’t reveal too much. That aside– I won’t be able to handle it if the opponent also uses magic… Hey, someone that looks like a mage really showed up! I’ll leave him to you, Big Boss!”

Three guards, looking as if they just got up from bed, blocked our path.

Two of them wore armor and one of them had a robe.

“Leave it to me! I’ll take care of that one…! Skill Bind!”

Chris used a skill faster than the robed mage.

“Lightning! … Hmm? What!?”

The mage was stumped when his magic failed to activate.

I took out my rope as I ran.

“Bind!”

I threw the rope at the two guards.

The rope moved under the effect of magic and tied the soldiers as if it had a will of its own, sealing their movement.

The skill Chris taught me was very useful during a crisis.

But it was a rather powerful skill, so it consumed a lot of mana. However, …!

I approached that robed man and absorbed his mana until he fainted.

My mana that was depleted after using Bind refilled instantly.

“Another one of our guys is down! What’s with that guy? And he’s unarmed!”

“Where are the adventurers? Haven’t the powerful adventurers arrived yet?”

The guards’ shouts were now no different from screams.

“B-Because… The alcohol content was higher for the feast, they’re all dead drunk…”

“Adventurers aren’t reliable after all!”

I sighed in relief after hearing that shout from behind me.

When facing high level adventurers, my disadvantage would be too obvious.

“Knights and guards are a terrible matchup against opponents with thieving skills! Can’t we do anything about this?”

“It’s impossible to use the mana intensive Bind repeatedly…! Does this guy have lots of manatite on him…?”

“But I didn’t see him take any manatite out! Which means…”

“That thief has enough mana to rival the Crimson Demons…?”

I heard the conversation from the guards behind me.

Their evaluation of me was rising a lot, even though I was just absorbing more mana from them with Drain Touch.

And so…

“Ahhh! No, don’t let them get to the topmost level! I don’t know what their goal is, but Her Highness Iris is there…!”

The two of us sprinted toward the topmost level where Iris was–

“Wire Trap! Wire Trap! Wire Trap!”

“All right, no one can break through here any time soon! Next, we’ll…”

Chris breathed a sigh of relief, and then–

“– I just need to arrest the both of you and ask what your objectives are… Who are the two of you? Are you the rumored chivalrous thief?”

Turning back, I saw Mitsurugi standing there fully armed.

And…

“To cut off your own retreat path… Intruders, you can’t escape.”

The ones who announced this were Claire and Rain, both wearing serious expressions.

And a large number of nobles’ knights and nobles were watching from afar.

 

Part 4

“What should we do, Assistant-kun? There are too many of them! We’re trapped!”

Chris quietly said with a slightly hoarse voice.

Taking a good look, there weren’t any other mages aside from Rain.

With Mitsurugi leading the way, the knights drew their swords and edged closer.

The other nobles thought the match was already set, and were amusedly watching the show of the knights shooting fish in a barrel.

“Claire-san, I heard that masked man’s very strong. He might be unarmed, but who knows what he’ll do if we push him. I’ll take him on, so please deal with the silver-haired young man with the knights.”

“… Hey, Assistant-kun, why am I being treated like a boy since just now? Do I really look that much like a guy with the cloth covering my mouth?”

“The root of the issue’s your slender body… Big boss, don’t be depressed, now’s the crucial moment.”

I consoled Chris, who was noticeably saddened by my follow up remark, and faced Mitsurugi.

Mitsurugi carefully took a stance with his hands on the hilt of his magic sword and stared at me.

“Big Boss, if we take down the strongest guy, we can intimidate the others. Allow me to defeat that good for nothing cool guy in an instant. Let’s break through in the confusion right after that.”

“Hey, I heard that. The ‘good for nothing cool guy’ you mentioned is me, right? Defeat me in an instant…? I’m really being looked down upon by an unarmed man. All right, I’ll show you my true…”

Before Mitsurugi finished, I raised my hand toward his magic sword.

As a high level adventurer with a top-tier job, Mitsurugi should be able to withstand my Drain Touch for quite a while, even if I managed to steal his weapon.

“This movement, are you planning to use Steal? Unfortunately, after I lost to a certain man, I now carry a lot of redundant items on my person to guard against this skill. Just give up now and…”

“Freeze.”

I cut off Mitsurugi’s words and used freezing magic.

It was just beginner magic, so Mitsurugi thought it was just a move to keep him in check. He continued to move cautiously against me.

I walked toward him openly…

“What are you scheming? Take this…?”

He went to perform a sword drawing strike, but was surprised when the magic sword wouldn’t budge because the sheath had been frozen.

I used this chance to cover Mitsurugi’s mouth and nose with my hand…!

“Create Water!”

“Guuguu?!”

Water filled Mitsurugi’s mouth, and he grabbed my hand in a panic as he drowned.

“Can you admit your loss and back down?”

When he heard what I said, he shut his mouth to resist and clenched his fists…!

“Freeze!”

“Kah!”

One instant before his fist hit me, the water in his nose and mouth froze into ice. He shivered violently.

“Mitsurugi-dono!”

Claire screamed. I let go of Mitsurugi and he knelt to the ground with both hands on his throat.

“He probably won’t suffocate if you help him defrost. Is there anyone else who thinks he’s stronger than this fellow? Come at me if you have the guts! … Big Boss, now’s our chance! Charge in!”

“I can’t figure out whether you’re strong or weak. However, I certainly don’t want to be your enemy…”

Mitsurugi was defeated in an instant as I predicted, making the knights around me back away in fear.

Chris, who was still making sarcastic comments, broke through the encirclement of knights together with me.

“Rain, being a little rough will be fine, but thaw Mitsurugi’s throat quick! And what’s the lot of you doing? Attack them! Even if Mitsurugi-dono’s defeated, we can’t just let them get away!”

“But from their high evasion rate, the two of them probably have the Escape skill! If they’re determined to run, we can’t do anything…! Hey! Split into two groups! The thieves won’t know the layout of the castle as well as we do! You lot, flank them!”

“Calm down everyone, we can capture them in no time, so stay calm!”

The nobles in front of us started fleeing in all directions, getting in the way of the knight’s pursuit.

Taking this chance during the chaos, Chris and I both used Bind on the knights.

They assumed we weren’t familiar with the layout of the castle. Unfortunately for them, I didn’t wander around the castle all these days for nothing.

If we pass through here…!

“Assistant-kun, behind you! An attack is coming!”

Turning back, I saw Rain, who had healed Mitsurugi, pointing her staff my way as she chanted.

“Princess Iris is right ahead! Instead of letting them through, we should kill them right here! We can ask Aqua-dono to use resurrection on them afterwards!! Rain, just do it!”

While Claire was shouting frantically, an eerie glow started shining on the tip of Rain’s staff.

Taking the bow slung on my back, I shot an arrow at the tip of the staff!

“Snipe!”

“Hyaa?”

The tip of the staff shattered and Rain let out a soft cry. She was too scared to move.

Claire and the knights who saw this looked shocked.

“Who is that guy? Why is such a skilled person resorting to thievery?”

Claire vexingly groaned as she watched us escape.

Part 5

“– Iris’s room is right ahead. Big Boss, please place a web here.”

“Understood. My mana’s almost depleted, so this is the last one.”

Once we reached the corridor to Iris’s room, Chris set a trap to block off any pursuers.

Thanks to our Escape skill, we had a huge lead over the guards chasing us.

Standing before the entrance to Iris’s room, we opened the door…!

“Intruders, you actually made it this far? Protecting the people, the country, and the royal family is the duty of house Dustiness, so I’ll…”

We closed the door gently.

“Don’t shut the door! What did you come here for…?”

Darkness opened the door with a bang and froze after seeing us.

No problem, we haven’t been exposed! Not exposed!

“B-Big Boss! Stop shivering and get to work! No matter how strong the female crusader before us looks, there’s no need to be surprised! We have something important to do for the sake of this kingdom!”

“T-T-That’s right, Assistant-kun! We still have a job to do for the sake of this country. It might be shady, but this is definitely for a just cause!”

“That’s the way, Big Boss! The people in this kingdom don’t realize how dangerous the accessory on Her Highness’s body is! If not for us, the princess will be in danger!”

After hearing our dubious explanation, Darkness’s face kept spasming. No problem, we haven’t been exposed! Probably!

“Assistant-kun, let’s charge in, we’ll apologize for it later!”

“That’s right! We’ll be forgiven if we explain the situation after the fact!”

“Hey, hey…! W-What are the two of you…?”

“What’s the matter, Darkness? I already told you plenty of times that you have to prevail verbally before fighting the battle.”

Darkness was blocking my view, so I couldn’t see inside the room, but it seemed like Megumin was here too.

“Make way, it’s just a couple of thieves, I’ll capture them! I haven’t recovered enough to use magic, but I’m confident in a brawl! This afternoon, I even defeated three… Delinquents…”

After seeing us barge into the room, Megumin stopped swinging her staff.

No problem! It’s salvageable!

Megumin was smart, so even if she realized who we were, she wouldn’t…!

“So, so cool…!”

I just needed to tell her the divine relic in Iris’s possession was dangerous… Hmm…?

She was looking straight at my face and shaking with flushed cheeks.

“What should I do, Darkness? This chivalrous thief really knows his stuff! Wearing such a cool mask and black attire! What about the name? Is the name of the thieving group decided yet?”

Seems like we weren’t exposed.

After the sparkly-eyed Megumin grabbed Darkness’s shoulders and shook her, she finally got it.

“… D-Damn it, villain… Behind me is… As a member of house Dustiness, I…”

She squeezed out some lines meekly and took a weak stance.

Realizing what our intention was, she was willing to help us.

Darkness clenched her fist as if she was enduring something.

Oh no, how should I explain this to her later?

Forget it, for her own good, I should tie her up.

“Bind!”

I tied Darkness up with a skill. Darkness exhaled in relief after being bound.

This way, she could lie that she was no match for me and was subdued…

“Sacred Spell Break!”

Aqua’s voice reverberated in the room.

The binding magic Darkness was under got dispelled and the rope harmlessly fell to the ground.

“Too bad, but it’s over for you with me around! I don’t know why you’re here, but if I seize you two, I’ll get some great wine! As you can see, I can neutralize any spells! Just give up obediently!”

Aqua, still cradling her wine bottle, came out from the depths of the room.

Damn it, this thing was usually useless, and she just had to choose this moment to act competently; how infuriating!

Why did she always–always mess up my plans at the critical moment?

“Darkness, now’s your chance! Apprehend them! Megumin became a coward for some reason, so it’s all down to you now!”

Urged on by Aqua, the sulking Darkness raised her sword. I could hear the footsteps of the pursuers behind me.

“Big Boss, we can’t stay too long because of that idiot here! Iris’s right in there, we just need to charge in and use Steal…!”

“We can then steal the divine relic! But, your skill…”

That’s right; I don’t know why, but when I use Steal against a female, I’d steal their underwear.

At this moment, curses came from behind.

“Cut the web open! The objective of the villains is Her Highness Iris!”

There wasn’t much time left.

It might hurt Iris, but in order to increase the odds of stealing the divine relic…!

“W-With my full powered horizontal slice, I’ll bury you ruffians!”

Darkness shouted and slashed weakly.

We dodged under the sword and pounced further into the room.

“Really Darkness, why are you so stupid? Why are you telling them your move? That’s why you’re known as a muscle head!”

“… Ugh.”

Darkness, who was called stupid by the real idiot, blinked back her tears.

Standing by the side, Megumin watched us with eyes of admiration, as if I were the protagonist in a television drama…

After that, from the depths of the room we were targeting–

Iris held a rapier decorated elegantly in her right hand, and her left hand was stretched out our way.

The ring on her finger sparkled, its white light increasing in intensity…!

“Intruders, I’m a member of the powerful royal family and inherited the bloodlines of heroes! Don’t think you can… Easily…”

Iris, who was ready for battle, opened her eyes wide after seeing us.

The light in her ring dimmed and her voice faded.

Now!

“Steal!”

Chris and I activated steal at the same time, grabbing something that was on Iris’s body.

“Princess Iris! Are you all right?”

At the same time, the voice of Claire came from behind.

Damn it, there was no time to confirm what we stole!

“Assistant-kun, head for the balcony! It’s a swimming pool down there, so if we jump in there…!”

Chris went straight past Iris with something in hand and shouted!

“From what happened, I finally know your objective’s that thing! I don’t know what that is, but don’t think you can take it away so easily!”

Aqua reached out toward Chris’s back.

This thing was still trying to get in the way at the very last moment!

“Seal–!!”

“Shit, ahhh!”

Chris and I leapt out of the terrace toward the dark swimming pool–!

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